“I won't.” Absolute resolution. “I don't want to say anything mean about Mom, but she's never been a great mother. I've always taken a back seat to her addiction, and her men. The whole time I was gone, I prayed to make it home, and when I came back, she resented the attention the media gave me.”
How could Marnie not understand? Her own father hadn’t been overly emotional when she returned, but he hadn't used her in some despicable way. Of course, her father hadn't needed the money, while Lydia had.
So where did that leave them? There was no way Lydia wasn’t an issue. Now, however, wasn’t the moment to push.
“Are you going to let me move in with you?” Olivia’s expression was open, her plea genuine.
Pushy much?Talk about being railroaded. “Let me consider it. I’m also going to talk to your uncle. He gets to have a say in this matter. His input is important.”
The young woman seemed accepting of her response. She seemed to have a serenity Marnie didn't.
“Can we watch another movie?”
“Yes, silly girl, we can.” She rose, and Olivia followed. “But we need to start your studies. I investigated the curriculum for you, and tomorrow we can go shopping for the English books you need.”
Bright-blue eyes flashed. “I can't read well.”
“That may be true, however, your speaking skills are excellent. You’re very articulate.”
Olivia beamed with pride. “Uncle Jake suggested I listen to newscasts. He said it was important not to use slang or shortened phrases.”
“Well, he did a good job encouraging you. If you can speak properly, hopefully that will make your reading lessons easier.” Marnie wanted to fast-forward through the next few months as they were going to be tough for both Olivia and herself.
***
Marnie’d already increased the speed on the treadmill twice, and she still wasn’t able to outrun her thoughts or emotions. Struggling to keep up, she finally relented and decreased the speed. For each argument against Olivia moving in, she found a compelling reason for the move. Yet she still had doubts.
She was responsible for Olivia's well-being in theory if not in reality. Whether or not that was true in fact, Jake McGrath had pulled her in—now she was powerless to clearly extricate herself.
Jake McGrath.
Just saying his name caused her heart to race, and it had nothing to do with the exercise. Concentration shot, she got off the treadmill and did a series of stretches for her cool-down.
Picturing Jake—his tousled brown hair, his piercing blue eyes—she flashed back to the moment of awareness in Jessica’s kitchen. Maybe not one-sided, but doomed to failure before it even began. Although no longer completely terrifying, the idea of him touching her still overwhelmed her and flooded her with panic.
Just one touch. Just one touch of his lips against hers. Would it be as magical as it seemed in the movies? No one had ever caressed her—ever shown her physical affection. Granted, she didn’t invite it but…did she want to try? Leaving after one year’d been a mistake. Clearly, she’d yet to recover from her trauma.
She closed her eyes, cursing. Lester Ulster still had far too much power over her life. Every time she shied away from intimacy—every time she shied away from friendship—was a reminder that Ulster still held her in his vise of terror.
Breaking free was her only choice. Escaping the nightmares was her goal. Both the sleeping ones and the waking ones.
Making her way to the kitchen, she checked her watch. Early, but not too early.
She picked up the phone and dialed before she lost her nerve.
Chapter thirty-one
Marniealmostcanceledhermeeting several times.
Overriding concern about Olivia's well-being held her fast.You can do this. You have to do this.Still, when the knock on the door came, she was unprepared. She opened the door to find a relaxed Jake on the other side.
“How about a walk?”
She hesitated because a walk invited intimacy.
Traffic would be sparse on a Sunday afternoon. Another beautiful day, and the climate was still temperate, the sky clear except for a few puffy clouds.
“A walk sounds nice.” She snagged her sunglasses, and they set off down the driveway, past the perfectly manicured lawn, past the guardhouse, and onto the street.