The air crackled with tension and unsaid words. The noise of the television sounded so far in the distance and my heart felt like it was beating irregularly fast.
It was either now or never.
"You were right," I murmured. "There is something I'm afraid of," I admitted. "I'm not pushing you away, I'd never do that, but I'm scared," I muttered angrily, sighing loudly before getting up and walking towards my bedroom.
"Scared of what? Of me?" He was right behind me, hot on my heels. "Can you stop walking away from me? I'm trying to have a conversation with you, damn it."
With that, I came to a halt, turning around so fast it nearly gave me whiplash. My sudden movement caused Nicolas to stop as well—a look of shock covered his face, as if he weren't expecting me to turn around so quickly. But it disappeared soon after and he masked his emotions with that stoic facial expression again.
"I'm scared of the person I am when I'm with you. I'm too vulnerable, weak, fragile." I raised my voice slightly, meeting his stare.
He frowned, stepping closer until he was mere inches away from me. "How do you think I feel when I'm with you?" he asked, and when I didn't say anything, he grabbed a hold of my hand. "Tell me, how do you think I feel when I'm with you?" he repeated.
"I don't know," I said softly.
"You don't know?" He pulled me closer. "You're my weakness and someone has already managed to take advantage of that. I'm constantly thinking about you, worried about you. My dreamsconsist of you, Gabriella."
His chest rose and fell, his grip on my hand tightening slightly. "You plague my every thought, you're the blood flowing through my veins, you're every breath I take. Do you understand that?"
I shook my head, trying to reign in the rush of intense emotions I felt. "If anything were to happen to you, I don't know what I'd do. I've been worried about your well-being and safety ever since I saw those pictures. I can't sleep at night knowing that you're not right next to me where I can always protect you. I didn't want to be overbearing, I didn't want my obsession to spiral out of control, but I'm afraid it's too late for that."
"Nicolas, I—" There were actually so many words I wanted to share with him, so many thoughts, but my brain couldn't comprehend logic at this moment in time.
He held my face in his palms. "You asked me if I've ever been in love before and I wasn't truthful about my answer."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I've been in love,once."
"How did you know?" I asked softly, not ready for his answer because I didn't want to hear about his past experiences. However my curiosity got the better of me. "…that you were in love?"
"I knew from the moment I met you."
My entire being felt like it was on fire, every atom sparked by an electrical force caused by his confession. It was powerful, all-consuming, and quite frankly, made my entire body weak.
"I'm madly in love with you. I knew because my days no longer felt dark. How could it be dark when your smile lit up the deepest, darkest parts of me? I knew because I realised that I'd kill for you, I'd burn for you, I'd destroy for you. I knew the moment I stopped living just for myself, I knew because I started living foryou."
My lips parted slightly. Nicolas swiped his thumb across mybottom lip, making my entire body tremble. His dark grey eyes bore into mine. "Now do you understand?" he asked with a deep frown set on his face. "Do youunderstandhow far gone I am?"
"Yes," I said breathlessly. "I've been hurt before by past relationships, my mother, friends. So I've only been trying to protect myself, trying to guard my heart. I certainly didn't know what to make of the emotions I felt for you, but if I'm being honest with you and myself. I'm in love with you, too." I held the back of his neck.
"I’m deeply in love with you, Nicolas. I've always been concerned about your well-being, too. Especially after seeing the bullet wounds on your body. I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're the first man I've ever been open to about my life and I want you to be the last. So you have to believe when I tell you that I wouldn't push you away."
"I believe you," he said, grabbing a fistful of hair and tugging my head back. The action was gentle, but his grip was firm. "So you'll tell me how you're feeling? Even if you think it's not important, right?" When I didn't answer immediately, he gripped my jaw harshly. "I didn't hear an answer from you."
I nodded, holding onto him tightly. "Of course." Though there was one important piece of information that I was yet to share with him. How did I tell him that my period still hadn't arrived? I didn't know if it were the appropriate time to take a pregnancy test, but I knew that it was mandatory.
"I care about you more than you'd ever realise and I want to make sure you're always in good health. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually," he murmured.
This man was definitely sent from the heavens above. "You're too perfect. Are you sure you're real?" I questioned, making him chuckle softly.
"I'm real. Liam's charred car is proof of that." I dug my nailsinto his biceps, making him wince. "Feisty," he said, moving his face closer to mine. "That aggressive behaviour and the memories of me breaking that man's jaw because he touched you is actually turning me on."
"You broke hiswhat?" I asked incredulously. "Please tell me that's a joke," I practically pleaded with him, but the dead look in his eyes was enough proof that in fact was not a joke.
"I told you, you're so innocent." He laughed softly. "I've dealt with all of the men who's gotten too close to you," he said nonchalantly, like it were just another normal conversation.
"Men?" I blinked rapidly. "What do you mean bymen? That's plural."