Page 100 of Drift

Jack wiped tiredly at his eyes, then tossed his parts log onto the coffee table. He didn’t bring serious work home often, but he was still catching up with Ash not being at the garage and working from home as Raif worked in the Oval with Simon. Remote work was okay for stocking up, but not having Ash there on the shop floor meant Jack was back in his shoes with keeping track on the parts going in and out of the storeroom, because Christ knows half of his techs were worse than him for filling out the paperwork and filing it. That meant his own repair jobs made him run into overtime, that and having to wait to catch a lift off Jan after he finished work. So come what—he groaned as he looked at his phone—nearly touching eight, he was again playing catch up with the parts log. He didn’t make it any easier on himself with working with a printout copy, not really trusting himself with his phone and deleting half of his accounts in the process.

He rubbed at his head as Jan padded on through. At least they’d had time to set up the huge Christmas tree in the corner and decorations over the past few days, mostly because it had been so damn good to see Jan fall back in love with the season. Jack could take or leave it nowadays, although he’d prefer to take it and keep it on Welsh shores, away from, well, everything and everyone.

Jack frowned.

How the fuck had Jude managed all those Christmases alone over the years…? How—

Jack screwed his eyes shut just briefly.Don’t… can’t go there, not yet.

“Here.” A glass of orange juice came his way. Jack was off alcohol as a rule with his meds, but more so with the painkillers he’d started to take.

“Thanks.” He downed half of it, but he couldn’t do much to swallow his guilt over putting this shit on Jan—leaving Jude out there alone, even though he knew in his heart Jude would be damn safer out there than he ever would in here. Since Halliday had left a few days ago, Jack had avoided talk on Martin, mostly to avoid all the triggers that came with it. He knew he was an asshole for not taking his BP meds, that he was a bastard for needing to keep Jude away, but he kept to his word of keeping life as calm as possible to avoid pushing anxiety, and ultimately—Martin. Gray had asked him to back down, and he’d honour that, but he’d also take a week to think things through over potentially getting access to Martin’s thoughtsthenlook at the possibility of discussing BP meds again, but it only would be a possibility. Simple in theory, but unease ran under the skin, like Martin stood over by the window, arms folded, not taking his look off Jack like he knew something was coming.

Something had come. Jude. And that…? Jack frowned.

Stop. Don’t go there.

He hadn’t even told his own dad yet. He’d hit break point, and just how fucking stupid did he feel for backing away from a kid because of his own head being thrown out of synch? He should have been able to control his own goddamn head and reactionsand at least tell his own old man. But Martin had even denied him that.

Martin hadn’t seen it, or he’d bloody lived for it. Jude looked like a street kid drowning and wanting out, and the last kid to be put on lock down here had turned to Blood Eagle killing in order to cry his hurt out.

No. He couldn’t afford to bring a kid into… this. No safety, no sanity, no timeout cards…. And that brought back more guilt, how a part of him understood why Gray had held off mentioning anything until all the detail had been gathered. Fuck. Jack rubbed at his head.

“Gray’s running late.” Jan sat down next to him as he finished his whiskey, and Jack pulled him over before he flicked the TV on and brought up Netflix. He looked so caught in wanting to say something about Jude, about Martin, but he kept to space and quiet, mostly for Jack’s peace of mind, but also for his own. Jude had thrown them all out of synch.

“Said he’d eaten, though,” said Jack. Light talk it had been. It didn’t feel odd, just… dancing around the ghost of a kid still left in the home with them. “So I’ll just get a coffee on when the call comes through from the main gate that he’s back, save us all legging it out the kitchen if he tries to move for the kettle.” He looked sideways at Jan as a soft snort drifted up. “You get a call through to your mum to find out what she’s doing for Christmas? My old man is spending it with Mrs Booth, here.” He winced. Since Ed’s death, his dad would always be taken with Mrs Booth’s quiet as she worked in the background and handled housecleaning away from Gray’s level of, well, housecleaning. Sometimes he’d help her out with the rota. It wasn’t that there was a romantic connection there between either of them. His oldman just looked out for someone who Ed had loved, keeping her company when her quiet mirrored Gray’s.

And Jude. What would he be doing for Christmas…?

Jack stiffened.Stop. Just… stop.

Jan shook his head and grabbed a pillow before dumping it on Jack’s lap and lying down, his whiskey glass going on the floor. “I think… I think she’s seeing someone.”

“Hm?” Jack focused back on Jan and hid a smile as he rested a hand on Jan’s side, more lost to how Jan rested his head down on him, then—“Wait, what? Your old lady’s…seeingseeingsomeone? Again?”

Jan gave a distracted nod. “I dropped her off from work today, and there was a guy’s shirt in her laundry.”

“Wait—youlookedthrough her laundry? That’s… concerning.”

Chuckling, Jan made a grab for his crown jewels. “No, you asshole. She put a load in as I was there. Too damn quickly as well.”

Jack dodged the threat to his goods by hitting Jan’s hand. “You’ve been around Gray far too long. Could have been one of your sister’s chaps.”

“Too big. We’re talking Hulk size.”

Jack nearly choked on his drink. “Fuck me, Raif? So that’s where he goes off to of a night.”

Jan doubled and couldn’t stop laughing, not for a moment. “You’re telling Ash, then.” He tried to sober up. “But kind of weird, though.”

Jack looked down at him and twisted at a strand of Jan’s hair. “Parents having a sex life, huh?” Jan had struggled as a kid with someone new coming on the scene for his mum, but then who wouldn’t? “Happens, the whole sex and relationship thing.” He pulled a face. “Except for my old man. Christ, there’s definitely no sex for him.”

“Shit.” Jan glanced back. “Maybe the shirt was your dad’s, huh? Theyhavebeen spending a lot of time together when he’s not with Mrs Booth.”

“Get out of here.” Jack shoved at his shoulder, nearly toppling him off as Jan choked a laugh. “Don’t come here with that shit. My dad’s sworn off any of that… that s-word that shalt not be named where he’s concerned. Ever. I made him sign a contract, saying so.”

Jan buried his fading chuckle in Jack’s thigh, then he pinched Jack’s juice, downed the rest of it, and settled in his lap. They’d both got back around seven, and Jack hadn’t complained that Jan had wanted time with his mum, then taken his turn in the kitchen and rustled up some chili. Because this here? On the settee, running a distracted touch through Jan’s hair asDon’t Look Upstarted playing…? The selfish part to him wantedthisno matter how long it took.

Jan twisted slightly and eyed him up. “A movie?” He narrowed his look. “A disaster one at that?”

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