“Jack.” He went over so quickly. “C’mon, please. I’ll explain on the way, but you—”
“Th-fuck off—”
“Hey.” Jan jolted back at the aggression and—
“Calm it. Now.” Gray came out of the Oval, bypassing Jan and pointing Jack’s way. “Basic care plan. Take five minutes out to fucking listen to what Jan has to say.” A serious frown. “Please. Just listen, stunner. All this was unavoidable.”
Simon and Light rounded the bend, heading out after Gray, and Jan threw his car keys at Light. Simon’s and Light’s cars were back over by the summerhouse, and that only left Jack’s and Jan’s as a spin of tyre on gravel said Gray took to his. “Make sure neither of them get outside those bloody gates, please.”
Both Jack and Martin had already called it in their own ways when it came to Drift: too much hurt, far too much memory came with people getting outside of those manor gates: Jack, Ed, Brin… Jan himself, and the angered frustration in Light’ssnarl and look Jack’s way called it out as he caught the keys and moved so fast outside with Simon.
“It’s no one’s fault, okay?” Jan went back in close, quickly digging in Jack’s pocket for his car keys. “Gray’s right that this was unavoidable. C’mon.” He pulled them free, then tugged Jack towards the front door. “I’ll explain as we go. But we need to go.”
Jack eased the grip off his arm, his look saying his head wasn’t ready to be anywhere near a kid, and Jan went back into him, kissing at his lips. “I know… I know you’re scared to death you’ll fuck him up with your own disorders, but you listen to me now.” He pointed back to the door. “The virus that got Ray aiming a gun at you? The bastards behind it are threatening to go airborne with it. And Drift—Jude, they gave it him at some point.”
Jack jolted back a touch.
“Antibodies.” Jan went back in, kissing him. “He might be carrying them. So you do the math quickly, please, Jack. You work out just how many sick ways people can kill each other outside of that gate if that virus gets loose, then you question just how safe Jude is out there compared to in here, with us, if he’s carrying those antibodies and those Night-walking bastards or worse get hold of him.”
Jack glanced towards the front entrance, how the door stood open, how the draught from the open doorway that shifted hair from his eyes came with such haunted echoes of people not making it back whole through them.
That was all Jan needed to see. “C’mon. You’ve got to move. You’ve got to talk to him. Now.” He turned away, somehow knowing Jack would follow, and he went outside and clambered into the driver’s side of Jack’s Merc. Jack got in a moment later,and Jan pulled away, following close behind Light and Simon and hating just how fast Drift could apparently use a crow’s path to the main gates.
Jan cut down the drive, and Jack stayed unusually quiet as Jan filled in the rest, his gaze ahead, on the main gates. He was the first to get out of the car when Jan pulled to a stop at the back of Gray’s Merc, but his quiet was… confusing, even if his anger over trying to catch up was understandable.
Drift skidded short of the gates as George and two other guards came out, blocking his exit. Stood by Jan, Gray ordered them to stand down, but it was Drift himself who seemed to see the gates really for the first time, and he shivered… hands going behind his head, then he doubled slightly before snarling out a few fucks. Jan wasn’t sure it was the switch that had gotten him running, but whatever it was, it played badly with him.
“Hey, hey.” West skidded next to him, rubbing at his back as she tried to get him to straighten. “Easy… easy. It’s no safer out there, baby. It’s no goddamn safer. You know that, you fucking know that.”
A wary look at the gate, Gray went to go over to Drift, but Jack raised a “Don’t…” finger his way. Gray didn’t look happy at being told to back off, but back off he did.
Jack didn’t offer anything else Drift’s way even though every sign bled through Drift that his head was going down a bad path and that he was trying to fight it. Jan thought Jack might step in, try to help, but instead he left Drift looking at the gate one moment, then snarling and turning away before thumping into a tree trunk once… twice… the next.
“Hey, no—no.” West went in, pulling him into a rough hold he couldn’t say no to, and Drift cried out, maybe more in fear as he no doubt realised it was West who tried to hold him.
“What the fuck’s wrong with this place? With him?” Drift hugged her in close as he buried his head in her shoulder. West stroked at his neck, and the whisper in his ear was from one lover to another, even if the void constantly pushed their heads and hearts apart.
Now Jan understood why Jack kept his distance.
All of his own complications stood there in Drift, the echoes of his youth, but also a first real look at the echoes of Gray’s too with the impact West’s hold had. His quiet gave Drift room to try and stop the run himself, but it also gave West room to hold on and help him through it, despite all the risks that came with it for her.
The fall belonged to them both, and Jack didn’t step into it. The hold had to belong solely to them because everything else, especially Jack, was just white noise digging more into both of their heads. The whole reason why Jack had asked to keep Drift at a safe distance, away from him, and now… a brief flick of anger went Gray’s way.
Too much hurt, too much knowledge played in Jack’s eyes, too much fear over the great unknown that Drift faced with standing on the edge of the void and feeling the fall. Jack had faced it many a time, many a year, only he’d had all that time behind him, all that understanding and the lovers around him who were tough enough to stand and pull him through it over the years.
Drift was still learning, still so damn young over trying to find ways to cope. And now he’d potentially seen himself in Jackas well, only years later down the line, how it never got easier. Every cry into the wind he’d potentially face due to… family even if his seizures were induced, because he must have seen it, how with the testing being over years, there was no saying the seizures would stop even if the meds were….
West pushed Drift to a distance, and with a stroke at his jaw, she stayed on his look. She started to talk in hushed tones, the wind carrying away her words, and every so often, a frown would come Jack’s way off Drift, one that didn’t see Martin sitting in the hall, talking to him, but someone different… unknown. Jan had had some time to talk to West about disorders… genetics… family medical history and… DID.
Wiping a hand over his face, Drift eventually rested his head briefly to West’s, kissed at her cheek, then started Jack’s way. He stopped by him and dug his hands in his pockets a moment later.
“That’ll be us both fucking up.” Drift searched Jack’s look. “Here was me thinking a potential uncle in the family fucked-up mosh pit.” He snorted bitterly. “Should have taken more notice of the change in voice both then and a few moments ago as well, hmm?” He looked up. “DID… Martin tried to warn me. You’re Jack, right?”
Chapter 40
JACK… RIGHT?
Stood just a few feet from the security gates, Drift didn’t look convinced at all that itwasJack standing there, not trusting what Martin had apparently said about DID. But Jan saw that he didn’t run. He didn’t hit out. He stood there despite the hurt, and he tried to piece it all together, stay sane in the details and maybe just… say hello.