Page 101 of Natural-Born Cullers

Gray took him back up to the wall and ran a rough touch along his jaw that half wanted to dig in and break bone, but the other half….? “Never far from fucking here. Not anymore.”

Martin nodded, then looked away as Gray stayed quiet and went to walk away.

“He didn’t feel right.”

Gray frowned as he glanced back.

“Jack,” Martin said quietly.

Jan came over. “Yeah,” he said. “I know.”

“No, you don’t,” said Martin flatly. “I don’t usually feel anything from Jack. Period. And hefeltwrong.”

Jan flicked a look at Gray, but as he stopped by Martin, Martin lifted Jan’s look to his.

“And as for being wrong…. I didn’t know it was going to hit you the way it did.” Martin swiped at Jan’s jaw. “I didn’t know it was going to hit both of us the way it did. So thank you. For looking out for me in the aftermath, despite you….” He touched the back of his hand to Jan’s cheek and frowned. “You still being so sick.”

Jan looked away for a moment, then focused back Martin’s way. “That’s the first time you’ve ever apologised to me, Mart.”

“Yeah, well.” Martin pulled him in and stroked at the back of his neck as he looked over at Gray. “I doubt it will be the last, Janice. Not in my blood to play by the rules.”

Jan choked out a snort, then pulled away. “Don’t take us out like that again, please. Christ.” He ran off a roll of choking coughs that kept Martin so quiet.

“Ready.” Simon buffeted Gray slightly as he tugged on his jacket. “Got the location. It’s an apartment north of Finsbury Park. 5257, St Ann’s road.”

Gray tugged on his jacket, but Martin pulled him to a stop.

“You finish this,” he said to him, “you find a way to talk to Jack.”

Gray frowned, then nodded as he flicked a look at Jan. “Keep in touch with me, no matter how much you think I need to focus.”

Jan glanced back and offered the softest smile, but a lot of worry chased it. “You know I won’t, not for this one. You focus where you need to.”

Gray breathed a little easier as he looked at Martin. “You. Don’t move from Simon’s side until I get there. Listen to everything he says, when he says it.”

As Jan headed out, Ray came over, watching as Jan left before he whispered in Gray’s ear. “Jack had an absence back in the hall.”

Gray shot him a look.

“Fifteen minutes,” Ray said quietly. “You need to know that before going in with Light.” He gave a heavy sigh. “Martin’s right, Jack looked… off. But if there’s a risk of a switch, just know his absences are back. I don’t want that catching you out and getting either of you hurt. You know I’m here for backup to get him out of the fire. Raif too.”

Gray’s heart slipped. Jack’s absences were back…? He’d not had them since coming out of being raped by Vince, where his head had been so fragmented, absences took Jack away from him in new ways as Jack tried to deny and hide from ordering the horrors over what had happened. Absences either ran into losing Jack to the void, where he’d be here in body, standing by Gray, but he wouldn’tbehere in soul. Or he’d run into utter blackouts of aggression, where only drugs and four-point restraints would stop him from killing someone. That was what Jan had been afraid of. But then he’d seen the latter when Vince had Jack pinned on the floor. Afterwards, both left Jack feeing like he was stepping back into life like he’d climbed out of a swimming pool: all weighted, heavy, just so goddamn tired. And Gray had held him through each and every goddamn one.

Until now.

They’d caused that… fragmentation to happen again?

Christ.

He’dcaused that?

He more than needed to talk to Jack now.

Chapter 29

Safe House

As Martin eased back into the passenger seat of the Merc, not trusting Simon’s driving “skills,” Simon took the right off Green Lanes onto St Ann’s Road, then turned off his headlights as he brought the car to a light cruise of tyre on tarmac. Night still covered the streets, barely managing to creep around to four in the morning, and Martin rubbed at his eyes.

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