Page 56 of Best Kept Secret

I stood up, grabbing my phone from my pocket. I stared at it for a second, hating what I was about to do. But I didn't have a choice. I scrolled to Mira's burner phone number, my thumb hovering over it for a moment, and then hitCall.

This was a fucking mistake, but I couldn't stand to see Pari upset.

She answered on the second ring, her voice quiet, tentative. "Beau?"

I clenched my jaw, kept my tone flat. "Pari won't sleep. She's crying for…for the song."

There was a pause, and I could hear her sharp intake of breath on the other end. "Put me on speaker," she said softly.

I did as she asked.

"Hey, Pari, how are you, myShona." Mira's voice made my chest ache. She sounded sad. Tired. Like she was completely drained but forcing energy into her words, hoping Pari wouldn't catch what was so obvious to me.

"Miramashi?" my daughter whimpered.

"Why are you crying, Pari?" Mira's voice came through the phone, warm, soothing. "I'm right here."

"I want the song."

"Well then, you should have the song."

Pari sniffled, curling back into her blanket as she hugged Ghoshu.

Mira started to sing, her voice soft and melodic, the familiar Bengali lullaby filling the room. The same song that used to lull Pari to sleep every night.

"Ghum ghum ghum, tora shobai ghum...."

I watched as Pari's eyes fluttered closed, her tiny body relaxing, her breath evening out with each note Mira sang. Within minutes, she was asleep, the tension gone from her little face.

I stood there, staring at my daughter, feeling a myriad emotions. Relief. Guilt. Anger. I didn't know what to do with it.

"She's asleep," I spoke into the phone.

There was a long silence on the line. Then, quietly, Mira said, "Beau?"

I hung up, cutting her off mid-sentence, resisting the urge to throw the damn thing against the wall.

I stared down at Pari, her face peaceful now.

I tucked the blanket around my little girl, and walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. I shoved the phone back into my pocket, my jaw clenched so tight it hurt.

What the hell was I going to do the next night, and the next?

I found out an hour later when a message came through from the burner phone. It was an audio file with no explanation. I played it, and it was Mira singing Pari's favorite lullaby. I felt like an asshole as I saved the song, thinking that maybe I should find it on Spotify or something so Pari could hearitbutnotMira's voice.

It's not the song, asshole, it's her Miramashi she wants.

And it looked like Mira wanted to care for her niece as well. She'd sent her voice to lull her baby girl to sleep when I couldn't. Tears pricked my eyes, surprising me. I hadn't cried since I was a young child. No fucking way was I going to shed a single tear over Mira Sen. She was out of my life, just the way she was supposed to be.

Trigger Warning

This scene contains themes of suicidal ideation and attempted suicide that may be distressing for some readers. Please read with care.

Chapter 23

Mira

Ihad nowhere left to go.

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