Page 45 of Best Kept Secret

"I'm assuming we won't tell anyone." I didn't want to be Beau's dirty secret, but I'd seen how his family was with me, and I could only imagine how his mother would feel about us being a couple.

"We'll take it slow, let people get used to the idea, yeah?"

It shouldn't hurt that he agreed with me, but it did. I'd hoped he'd say that he was proud of us and wanted to show me off.

Red flag. Red flag. Red flag.

"Yeah," I said, keeping emotion out of my voice. We were having a lovely time, and I didn't want him to feel pressured to give me more.

I'd learned early on that I could get clingy. My first boyfriend after I left my parents' home was a waiter at the diner I worked in, and he'd told me when he ended it, "It's like you've been starved for attention, and you kind of suck a relationship dry. I just wanted us to have fun. I'm not ready for commitment. You come across as desperate, Mira."

When I told Asha about it, she'd pointed out that Iwasstarved for attention, and I'd fallen for the first boy who'd given me some.

"Happened to me, too—wanted to marry and make babies with the first guy I fucked. But, you know what, Mira? It's better to sleep around and get the physical release than to get your emotions entangled. In any case, I don't think a man would stay with someone like us if they knew our truth—and how horrible would it be to be in a relationship where you can't speak your truth? Better to fuck and forget, Mira."

I hadn't learned that skill. Maybe I would've as I got older and more experienced, but all my plans of growing up slowly were derailed when Asha got pregnant and fell sick. I'd had to become a responsible adult real fast.

"What are you so deep in thought about, darlin'?" Beau nuzzled my ear as he spoke.

Live in the moment, Mira. He's here now. The past is done. The future isn't here. Live in the now.

"I'm too lazy to think," I lied.

He laughed. "I tired you out, yeah?"

"It's the best kind of tired." I turned so I could face him. "May I ask you another cliché?"

He smiled. "Yes, darlin', you may."

I felt shy, but I really wanted to know. "Was it…was it okay?"

He laughed. "Are you askin' me if it was good for me?"

I grimaced. "That does sound kinda lame."

He stroked my cheek. "No, Mira," he said, his tone serious now. "Not lame. It was amazing. I just hope I made it good for you."

"You know you did." I rolled my eyes. "I was screaming my head off."

"Best sound in the fuckin' world." He cupped my face. "You're incredibly beautiful, inside and out. The way you take care of everyone around you. The way you look at me like I'm a sex god—"

I punched him playfully on his shoulder. "Sex god? I've never said that to you."

"But you were thinkin' it," he teased.

He was right. Ididthink he was one of the sexiest men I'd ever seen. He gripped the back of my neck and yanked me to him. He dropped his mouth on mine, and I poured all my longing, all my affection and love for him into that kiss.

I'd fallen in love with Beau Bodine, I realized, and I wanted him to feel it in my kiss, in my touch. Because if I said the words out loud—knowing how he handled relationships—he'd be gone before I could even say,I'm not expecting anything in return.

He shifted me so I straddled his waist, and pressed his erection against my core. "I'm hard again…for you."

I moved my hips to feel him fully, and sank onto him, taking him balls deep inside of me. I felt full in the best way possible. I feltwhole.

I looked into his eyes as he gripped my hips and raised me on top of him, building a rhythm that was already making me shake.

"Lean back, darlin'," he barked.

I did, and he put his mouth on my tits. He suckled the first one, and then the other nipple. He wasn't gentle but then I didn't want him to be.

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