Page 62 of Best Kept Secret

Suchitra pointed to a door. "Bathroom is through there."

I walked in, closed the door behind me, and threw up into the toilet. I felt like I was drowning. The puzzle pieces were clicking into place—Asha's protectiveness, Mira's guarded nature, even the way they had both kept me at arm's length at times. It all made sense, but it also made everything hurt more. I hadn't seen it. I hadn'twantedto. My pulse roared in my ears as I pictured young Asha and Mira trapped in that nightmare. Asha and Mira who looked like Pari.

It took me a good fifteen minutes to get my shit together.

Suchitra gave me a glass of water when I returned, and then cocked an eyebrow. "Would you like something stronger?"

"Sure." I'd just emptied my stomach, but I needed a hit to calm my nerves. What a fucking joke. The great Beau Bodine, the righteous son of a bitch, didn't have the stomach or nerves to hear about the wrongs committed against the woman he loved—the same one he'd unceremoniously kicked out of his home and life. The one he'd broken by separating her from her daughter.

Suchitra pulled out a bottle of Lagavulin from a drawer, along with two glasses. She poured a finger in each.

We raised our drinks and clinked them together.

Once we'd taken a few soothing sips of Scotch, Suchitra's voice stayed steady as she continued, "The trauma they endured had long-lasting effects, as you can imagine—especially since neither of them sought help. Asha got some therapy, Mira didn't even have that. Sexual abuse took their innocence away but also their confidence."

No wonder Mira always seemed afraid that she wouldn't be accepted, that she wasn't good enough.

"Asha chose Mira as Pari's guardian because she knew that her sister would fight with her life to protect her daughter. She was so afraid that her father would get his hands on Pari—they both were."

I remembered Mira on her knees, her hands clasped together in front of her, pleading.

"Please, Beau. Please, I'm begging you. Never leave her alone with my parents. Promise me that. Just that, and I'll go away. You'll never have to see me again."

"The abuse left Asha scarred, emotionally and psychologically. She struggled with trust, with intimacy, with letting people in," Suchitra continued. "Mira coped differently. She took care of people—she worked in a diner, cooked. When Asha fell sick, she was there for her sister. She was there to wash her, clean her, she was there for every time Asha threw up, and by the end, Mira was changing Asha's diapers, and doing the same for Pari."

I tried to swallow, but my mouth was dry. My hands shook as I clenched them into fists on my lap, trying to keep the anger and pain from boiling over. "I didn't know about any of this. Mira never told me. If she had…."I'd have fucking killed her fatherwith my bare hands.I was probably going to do that anyway, now that I knew. That asshole would rue the day he lied to me, made me hurt Mira.

Suchitra's expression softened just slightly, the first crack in her stoic demeanor. "She probably couldn't. Sharing that kind of trauma—especially when it's never been properly dealt with—is not easy. And it's likely she didn't think anyone would believe her. For years, Mira was taught to hide her pain. Even as an adult, she lived with that conditioning."

Suchitra's words rattled in my head.She didn't think anyone would believe her.

I hadn't. I, who knew her, hadn't. I'd been taken in by the image her parents presented. I'd done to her what everyone else had…no, I'd doneworse. I'd taken her away from her child. I'd taken her away from the man she loved—I knew she was in love with me. I'd felt it every day and night.

I remembered asking her when we'd had sex for the first time,"Darlin', this isn't your first time, is it?"

She'd stiffened, and I hadn't liked that at all. Her eyes had gone from arousal to panic. And I had wondered, had she had abad sexual initiation?

All the evidence had been staring me in the face, but I'd refused to see anything but my own needs, my own ego.

Suchitra leaned slightly forward, her tone gentle and firm. "Asha was very clear in her will. She wrote letters for the court and CPS, if the occasion ever arose, that her parents couldneverbe trusted with Pari."

I was grateful that I hadn't let those terrible people anywhere near Pari. The only thing that had stopped me was Mira begging me not to. But for that, I would've let their shadow fall on my daughter. I wouldn't have protected Pari.

"Beau," Suchitra probed, "Mira, despite her own trauma, stepped into the role of protector. Her parents have been trying to undermine her ever since Asha's death."

I was numb. It felt like my world was collapsing around me, crumbling brick by brick. I had believed the worst about Mira. I had believed her parents—the very people who had shattered her and Asha.

I hated myself.

I stood abruptly, unable to sit any longer. "My lawyers will keep in touch with you, just so we protect…continue to protect Pari."

Suchitra got up as well. "How's Mira doing?"

How was she doing?She was probably shattered, picking up the pieces somewhere.

"She'll be fine," I assured her.Will she, Beau? After what she went through, did she need the extra trauma you decided to throw her way?

Suchitra folded her arms. "Meaning, she isn't now?"

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