Page 101 of The Engagement Party

Leave it to Sierra to pinpoint a weakness and drag it into the light. Ruthie knew the answer to this question. She admired Sierra so she didn’t sugarcoat the answer. “Because I didn’t think they deserved to be saved.”

Chapter Seventy

Sierra

Three Weeks Later

Sierra looked at the temporary grave marker. They’d stayed in the trees, out of sight, for the duration of the private ceremony. A few people she didn’t know stood around as the casket was lowered into the ground. No one from Bowdoin. No Cassie. One identity she could guess was the adorable little girl at the front with a woman dressed all in black.

Zara, holding the hand of the sister Cassie repeatedly dismissed as unworthy. The sisters looked alike. Pretty. Tall with a certain presence that had nothing to do with wealth. A sister who showed compassion and stood up for Zara when her parents couldn’t. In Sierra’s view, a woman who didn’t deserve scorn and harsh judgment for her lack of money or the choices she made when she didn’t have many options.

The small crowd dispersed a half hour ago, but Sierra and Mitch remained until everyone left and they no longer needed their hiding place. Between all the interviews with law enforcement and time spent fielding and ignoring press calls over the last few weeks, they’d been busy. Mitch also craved the groundingof home, so she didn’t push. When he commented on visiting to pay his respects this weekend, she agreed because how could she not.

“This is the wrong place to say this, but I truly hate your college friends.” She whispered the comment, but it still felt disrespectful.

“Me, too. Mostly.” Mitch stared at the marker. “But despite everything, and what happened with Brendan was awful, I loved Alex. He was the first friend I trusted after Tyler. His support never wavered.”

“It’s okay to love the good memories and reject the rest. To celebrate what he meant to you.” She repeated what the psychologist had told her during their recent consult. Sierra went because she wanted to help Mitch through this. More trauma. More death. More disbelief. Yes, he was a grown-up and all that, but he’d buried three friends and saw another one taken to jail after their weekend away. A person could only take so much.

She also went for some help for herself because she needed to talk to someone objective. All those years trying to get a handle on Mitch’s grief and now she had her own. When she figured out how to sleep without a hammer under her pillow again she might stop going to the doc. But, for now, she had a follow-up appointment.

“It’s amazing to think my entire college experience would have been different if it had ended two days earlier.” He zipped up his jacket against the cold whipping through this part of Rhode Island. “I remember we joked about skipping graduation and heading to this place Emily’s family used to rent when she was growing up. I wish we’d done it.”

The forecast promised snow and Sierra could feel it in herbones. But she stood there. Let him talk as she leaned into him to block the wind.

“Other than with Alex, I’m not sure we would have stayed friends. Probably enough for a text now and then or a yearly meeting. We were bound to splinter and not be as close as we once were. We all wanted different things, including to live in different states.” He exhaled. “But at least they’d be alive.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I can’t believe he’s gone.” Mitch shook his head.

Alex never came out of surgery. He died on the operating table from a gunshot wound inflicted by his wife. Cassie’s wail of despair when the doctor informed her had echoed throughout the hospital. She dropped to the ground, inconsolable, as nurses rushed to help.

Standing in that waiting room was the first time Sierra had seen Mitch cry. She’d held him as the haunting sound washed through her.

In the end, Sierra and Mitch didn’t mention Cassie’s plan to leave them on an island with a killer. She had enough legal trouble ahead. Alex’s family waited until she was arrested to hold this service. She’d be out on bail soon enough, but for now she was cut off from everything, including Zara.

Mitch broke the comfortable silence. “We need a vacation.”

“No water. I hate the water.” That wasn’t an exaggeration. Lakes, the ocean, a bath—all made her insides jump in panic now.

“The mountains?”

He had to be kidding. “I’m going to skip any trip that puts me in an isolated place, but thanks.”

“Fair enough.”

“All I want is to curl up on my couch for a month, watchingmovies and eating junk food.” That wasn’tallbut the combination did sound good.

“Want company?”

She always wanted him nearby. “Sure.”

“I’m going to try seeing a therapist to untangle some of the messiness in my life, so I might be good company... eventually.” He exhaled. “It’s hard to imagine right now. There’s been so much death. So many people I cared about—”

“None of that was your fault.”

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” He stopped her before she could wave his worries away. “I don’t understand why you—who are amazing—would want to be with me. You really shouldn’t bet on me. You absolutely should run...”

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