Page 3 of Daddy Sees Snakes

I'm a monster.

I'll be strong. I'll be good.

I'll be a man she can be proud of. Because that's what Allegra needs. I owe it to her to be a good father, and I'll be the best one possible.

I'm a man. I'm in control of myself. And when Iris looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes, I won't break.

I won't.

I'm strong.

I'm a fucking beast. I'm Vincent “Viper” Beckett.

And no one tells me what to do.

I'll never touch Iris.

I spin around and stare at my desk. My chip is right there. Twenty-two years sober now. Longer than the girl has been alive. I've been clean for longer than I was addicted. I've hadmore pain and loss than anyone should have to deal with, and yet, I survived.

I'm not about to throw it all away.

Not even for her. For a piece of ass. She's the one who could destroy me. And that's why I have to stay away from her.

I run my fingertips over the chip. I wonder if we have any booze in the house.

Maybe I should drink.

Just a taste.

I know where Allegra keeps the vodka.

One shot.

Just one.

***

I wait until the girls are asleep before I go looking for the bottle. It's not a great idea, and I know that. But my mind is a dark place. I need something to distract me.

I go downstairs, but I stop dead in my tracks. Allegra and Iris are cuddled up on the couch. The TV is off, and they're fast asleep. They look so peaceful, so happy. My heart aches.

I'm an asshole. A fucking monster. And my daughter doesn't even know the truth. She's never going to.

"You girls are going to be the death of me," I mutter, taking a deep breath as I walk through to the kitchen.

There are still some beers in the fridge, but I grab the bottle of vodka in the cabinet, heading out onto the balcony. The cold night air wraps around me, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I hate myself. I hate the man I am. The man I've always been.

"Why does the monster always get the girl?" I ask the sky, closing my eyes.

It's not fair. I'm not the man Iris deserves. She needs a man who will protect her. I'll hurt her. Because that's what I do.

"Why can't you just be good?" I ask. "Why does this have to be so damn hard?"

I unscrew the bottle cap and bring the bottle to my lips. I close my eyes and let the burning sensation calm me. The liquid runs down my throat, and a few seconds later, the warmth hits. I feel the world spinning.

I can't stop.

One drink leads to two, and two leads to more. Soon, the entire bottle is gone. I'm drunk. So, so, drunk. I'm a mess.

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