Page 34 of More Than Meets the Eye

“Very carefully!” I cracked up.

Silence from his end.

“See, because they have quills, and?—”

“I understand the joke,” Carlos said. “It’s just not?—”

“It’s totally funny.”

“Tess. You’re in danger. Maybe we should talk about the werewolves and leave the porcupine jokes for later?”

I thought about it. “Nah. What kind of wolf knows she’s a wolf?”

“What?”

“A werewolf!”

Silence.

“Get it?Awarewolf, A W A R E wolf.”

He sighed. “Okay, I give up. Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”

“How do police catch vampires? With stake-outs. What do you call twin vampires? Dead ringers. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarine. What did the vampire say when he looked in the mirror? Long time, no see.”

“Stop!” I was laughing so hard I was crying. “You have to stop. I can’t breathe.”

“What’s a vampire’s favorite TV show? Big Fang Theory.”

I sank down on the couch, holding onto my side. “Okay. Okay. I get it. Stop.”

“How many real vampires are there? None, unless you count Dracula.”

“Hey! Did he really exist? Count Dracula?”

“That’s what you want to talk about when dead bodies keep showing up in your garage?”

“Okay, first, ‘keep showing up’ is exaggerating. This is the first. Second, even if therewasonce a vampire named Count Dracula, he’s long gone, which makes him much less scary than garage murderers.”

Silence again.

“Oh, no. Dracula’s not dead?”

“I don’t think we should focus on unpleasant details, Tess.”

“Carlos, I will never make pecan pie for you again unless you tell me the truth.”

“Who knows? There have been rumors. Sightings. But there have been sightings of Elvis, too.”

I sigh. “You didn’t call me when you should be sleeping to talk about Elvis.”

“Or Vlad Dracul. But conversations often take left turns with you.”

“How are things with Bram’s? How’s Trinity doing?”

“My Orlando nightclub is doing fine, and I’m sure Trinity would love to see you. You and I should go dancing there one night.”

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