Page 4 of It's Not Home Without You

I used to look up to him; he was as tall as a mountain—at least to me. He was my everything. I swallowed back the lump of guilt upon looking at him. Wrinkled and older, he didn’t seem that strong and invincible anymore. When I left, he was tall. Now he was a little hunched, and his hair was completely white, but the smile he gave me was the same one he always had just for me.

“Well, what can you expect when you would wake me up at the crack of dawn by making a ruckus. I’m a light sleeper. I’m just the product of your creation.”

He made his way to the table as I put the plate in front of him. “You ain't eating?”

“I need coffee first. Then I can start my morning.”

He shook his head but dug into his plate. When I left San Francisco, I had no idea what I was going to do. I just knew that I couldn’t be in a town where I was being ridiculed behind my back. It was funny how I came backhome where all my life I was belittled. Initially, I hoped this could be a stop on the way to my next big dream, but looking at my grandpa, I knew I couldn’t leave him.

Not again.

I was stuck here for the time being, and the idea terrified me, because the longer I stayed here, the more likely the chance of running intohimbecame. You couldn’t hide in a small town. It could take a few days, but by the end of the week, you always ran into everyone. Sunny Pines was a small town. We were somewhere in between Port Wing and Superior. There was only Highway 13; the rest were small-town roads. Unless I planned on hiding in this trailer, which did sound appealing, I was going to see a few faces I never thought I’d see again. I needed coffee, and that was just the start of the things I was going to need.

Then it occurred to me, hell, maybehedidn’t even live here anymore. Perhaps he left this town and was doing much better at life than I was.

He deserved it.

He deserved everything.

It would be easy to ask Grandpa what happened to him, but it was better if I never spoke of him again. The damn guilt of what I did tohimwas going to kill me before the week was over, I just knew it.

“You’re not going to ask?” I asked when I couldn’t stand it anymore. My grandpa acted like we had breakfast together every morning. Like I didn’t up and leave him in the middle of the night without saying goodbye.

“Figured you’d tell me when you were ready. Or we don’t have to talk about it.”

I was tapping my hands on the old wooden table since I didn’t have a coffee to sip. “So, it’s like that? I come back home, and it’s like nothing ever happened?”

“You’re home safe and sound, all I care ’bout.” Grandpa shrugged and kept on eating. I cleaned up after him, and when he said he was going into town, I decided I also needed to go and face it head-on. It was noon already, and I didn’t have an ounce of caffeine in me, and that was sinful. I should be worried that Grandpa didn’t like coffee who didn’t love coffee? I was surprised his old, red truck still worked. So many memories in that truck. I didn’t appreciate it then, but my grandpa taught me to drive when I was fifteen, giving me my first taste of independence.

“So, what’s new in town?” I asked as I stared out the window, watching the green grass blowing in the wind. I bet I was a sight—brown hair blowing, wearing a navy blue pantsuit with a white silk blouse and black stilettos sitting inside a truck that was so rusted it was a miracle the wind didn’t blow it apart. Grandpa had made a face when I walked out of the trailer but didn’t say anything. I was not the girl who grew up here, the one who had wild hair and wore combat boots and tight jeans like it was her religion. I was no longer the girl the town referred to as trailer trash.

“You know the folks ’round here ain't too fond of change. There’s a hippy coffee shop that opened up ’bout two years ago.” I rolled my eyes. Anything that wasn’t yourstatus quo around here was either hippyish or liberal. “The Millers’ daughter opened it up after she came back from college.”

That was cool. I liked Emma Miller. She was one of the few girls back in high school who didn’t look at me like I was covered in shit. Naturally, I told Grandpa to make the hippy coffee shop our first stop.

I stopped breathing for a second at the sight of the massive building that wasn’t there when I left town. “Dunnett Industries,” the massive sign read. The Dunnetts owned half the town. Mr. Dunnett was a savvy businessman who had his finger dipped in a little bit of everything.

“What’s that?” I croaked.

“Oh... the Dunnetts were able to get a contractor to settle its roots here. It’s some type of technological warehouse; provides work for many families around the area.”

I didn’t ask more, didn’t say more. The past was better off left in the past, right?

When we made it to Main Street, it seemed like time stood still in this part of town. The white kiosk was surrounded by beautiful flowers and trees, and stores surrounded the park. He parked in front of the hardware store, telling me that the hippy shop was just on the other side of the kiosk. I could see the building; it was bright yellow and stood out from all the white ones.

I grabbed my bag and stood tall and proud, even though my feet were killing me from yesterday’s adventure. When I opened the door to Emma’s Coffee, it was heaven. It smelledlike coffee grounds and baked goods. I was surprised by the long line. Since I was going to be stuck here for a bit, I took a moment to look around. There were small tables all along the walls, all with books on them. A smile broke across my face. From what I remembered, Emma loved to read; she always had her head stuck in a book. The far wall was black. Looking more closely at it, I realized it was a giant chalkboard. On the top, it had a quote of the day—today’s being: Don’t let yesterday dictate your tomorrow. Those words spoke to me, like I was meant to see them. The girl I used to be was not the woman I was today; it made my shoulders relax a little bit and my breathing a bit more comfortable. Still waiting, I decided to pull out my phone and turn it back on. It had been off since I ran in on my ex-boyfriend with his secretary. Afterward, I had stayed at a hotel and gave work the number so they could contact me there. As soon as the phone was on, it started dinging with messages, missed calls, and voice mails. This was going to be stressful.

“Hello, what can I get you?” Emma smiled at me. She was still sweet looking, with a curvy frame, blonde hair that reminded me of sunrise, and the most adorable dimples.

“It’s my first time here, so what do you recommend? I want something sweet but strong.”

“I got the perfect thing for you.” She went to work on my drink. Meanwhile, I deleted any message that had to do with Ashton.

Ashton: Really, Freya, you left town without giving us a chance to talk things out?

Yes, I was just going to leave like that. What was Ashton going to explain to me? That it was an accident? Oh yes, Ash, I forgive you. The winds in our apartment must have been so strong that it made you fall dick deep in your assistant’s pussy. I understand completely.

As if, asshole.

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