Page 58 of It's Not Home Without You

Then she turned and said, “Freya Pratt, you always knew how to go big.”

“Can we go now?” I turned to Ashton, knowing full well how rude I sounded, but it was either we left or I exploded. I was a ticking time bomb.

“Stay, please join us for a drink. I’d love to hear all about how you two met. Don’t take this the wrong way, but none of us thought Freya would amount to anything. Isn’t that right, honey?” Abigail sneered, her smile sweet like poison. Resting my head on Ashton’s shoulders, I smiled back at her. Bitch.

“I’ll be right back,” I told them. I went toward the restrooms; the emergency exit was right next to them.

“You weren’t going to bother with a quick hello, my beautiful girl?” Frank stepped out of the kitchen, bringing a smile to my face. He was just like I remembered him, a little rounded, kind eyes, and dimples.

“Hey, Frank.” I hugged him. “Mind if I slip out?”

“You know I’ll always have your back, girl, but I gotta say, what you did to that boy, that wasn’t cool.” I looked down because I couldn’t meet his eyes.

I made mistakes, and I was living with them.

When I opened the door, I cursed the light rain that was already drizzling. If my options were getting wet and increasing my chances of getting pneumonia or going back and having a drink with Ashton and Abigail, then pneumonia sounded fineto me.

My white dress was wet and clinging to my body,my hair was soaked, but somehow in the rain, I felt better than I ever had. It was like it was washing away everything I was, everything I’d been. My dream had ended, and it was time to accept that sometimes we all didn’t get new dreams, and that was okay. Sometimes, things just ended, and you made peace with them.Sometimes starting anew wasn’t in the cards for you, and that was okay too. Because for a brief second, I tasted it, the dream, it was big, and no one could take that away from me.

So, Abigail had him, but for a moment, so did I, and all those memories we made together she could never have. Even if it was painful to think about, for a moment in time, everything was perfect, and it had been mine.

Only mine.

CHAPTER THIRTY

Throughout dinner,I couldn’t hold a conversation with Abigail. Was she talking about the flowers she initially wanted were out of season? Was Gary bringing a plus one? The wedding was three weeks away, and I should focus on details like Abbi was, but for the life of me, I couldn’t help but steal glances at Freya. I knew it was her the moment she walked in because Abigail tensed up and her lips pursed, the food on her plate remained untouched. It was torture stealing glances at Freya while talking about my wedding.

When Abigail suggested we introduce ourselves to Freya and her guest, I jumped at the chance to get close to her. I knew I wasn’t coming to taunt her. I wanted to see who she was with, who was this guy to her.

It was a lie, Max.

Those five words were haunting me. A desperate part ofme wanted to throw caution to the wind and believe it, but I couldn’t.

When the man at her side introduced himself and said he was Ashton, as in the ex-boyfriend who was making her life miserable, I got insanely jealous. I wanted to punch him. When she walked away to go to the bathroom, I knew she had no intention of coming back. I quickly sent a text to Sandy, telling her to call me immediately. I rushed out of the restaurant, not thinking straight. Honestly, I didn’t give a fuck if Abigail bought the lie.

The rain was picking up speed. When I rounded the corner through the alley, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her. Even through the rain, I could tell it was her. Her hair was soaking wet, her white dress clung to her body, and I could seeeverything.

When she looked up and the rain hit her, I felt a blow to my gut. Freya had always been beautiful, but I couldn’t find the words to describe her now.

She was like fire; she burned bright and wild. When she left, she scorched you, leaving an everlasting ember that wouldn’t stop burning.

A part of me needed her right now. I needed to have her close. I didn’t think. I just walked up to her and dragged her with me into the darkness of the alley.

“M-max, w-what are you doing?”

I could see the confusion in her big, brown eyes. When I walked outside, I did it intending to get things off my chest. When her lips parted, the words left me. I couldn’t think of anything except her and the way her lips lookedmoist with water droplets. I meant to tell her how wrong she was, that I didn’t let her go. I had yet to find a way todo it.What she said yesterday, that was a game changer. Those words made the pit of my stomach sink. Made my heart beat again with the pain, and I let myself feel—not just what her words implicated but what the years without her felt like. It was an empty ache that wouldn’t go away no matter how many women I fucked or how many bottles I drank because the space she occupied, no one could replace.

I tried.

Fuck did I try so hard to replace her.

I almost kissed her yesterday. She was so close, and I could taste the desire on her breath.

When I opened my mouth to tell her all this, no words came out; instead, all I saw was her against the wall, her body wet and so close to mine. She looked up at me, and those damn brown eyes were my undoing. There wasn’t anything gentle in the way I gripped her chin so I could kiss her.

The rain ceased to exist the moment I tasted her again. Her taste, fuck, how did I ever forget she tasted so sweet? Freya was shocked, and I used it to my advantage to take my fill of her. Everything about her was the same yet different.

A part of me knew this washer—my girl.

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