Page 53 of It's Not Home Without You

I stuck my tongue out at Grandpa before I did as he asked.

While I showered, I thought about Emma and her failing business. Her coffee shop was everything to her, and I would hate for her to lose it. After I got out, I got changed and asked Grandpa for a ride. If I wanted to be godmother to Rusty’s baby, it was probably a good idea if I visited.

“See you later, kiddo.”

“Bye, Grandpa.” I kissed his cheek and got out of the car. The first thing I saw was Rusty with Max.

Damn, I couldn’t get a break from this guy.

It was too late for me to turn around and wave Grandpa over. I would look like a coward. Squaring my shoulders, I pretended to strut down the drivewaylike I wasQueen B.

Max’s gaze felt heavy on my skin. I tried not to think about it; instead, I focused on my strut. It was safe to say I wouldn’t be making Beyoncé proud anytimesoon.

“Hey guys,” I greeted with a smile. Both Max and Rusty gave each other a side glance. “I have a few things to go over with Jana. Bye.”

“Freya, can I talk to you for a second?” Max took a step toward me. I looked pleadingly at Rusty, but he put his hands up in surrender and went inside the house.

Traitor.

Max grabbed my elbow and dragged me to the side of the house, right next to his car. I turned to look back to seeif someone would come to my rescue. Rusty was pulling Jana back to stop her from peeking out the window.

So much for helping me.

Max didn’t stop dragging me until we were standing in front of the hood of his car. Yeah, the previous time we started in this position, Max ended up with his pants on the floor. The last time we made love was on the hood of his car.

“You know when you said we’d be civil, I figured we’d ignore each other,” I joked.

Max opened his mouth, but before he spoke, his phone rang. “Leave it,” he clipped out. “Abbi, I said to leave it alone,” he barked. “I’m tired of this conversation. I told you to trust me.”I took a step back, and that was a mistake because my butt pressed against the car. I had nowhere else to go. Max’s eyes flared, noticing my movement. “I’ll call you back.”When he hung up, he took a deep breath and loosened his tie.

When Max tooka step toward me, he trapped me between him and the car.

Even if I could move, I didn’t think I wanted to.

“You sent a fucking check?” His eyes were burning, and I could almost taste the rage that was rolling off him. I could see the strain on his face. It cost him to keep it together; no one was that still. I was about to open my mouth and tell him ‘damn right I sent a check,' but he didn’t let me speak.

“Fuck, Freya.” He ran a hand over his face, trying hard not to lose it. “You think I don’t fucking hate you? Do you think I enjoy walking into town and seeing you? The sight of you causes mepain.”

I knew I said I wanted him to hate me, but hearing him say those words ripped my heart.

“You know how hard it was to move on? I saw you in every single thing I did and all the woman I slept with, and it was never enough because they never compared. None of them were you. Your fucking ghost kept following me everywhere I went. It haunted me. And when I finally get my shit together, when for the first time I stopped seeing you in everything I did and the thought of picturing my lifewithoutyou didn’t scare me, you fucking come back. Every time I see you, Freya, it burns. I can’t fucking breathe. It feels like I’m suffocating, and the worst part is that I fucking like it.That burn I feel every time I see you serves as a reminder thatyou’re back. That you're real.”

A sob tore through me, making Max’s eyes zero in on my lips. In one swift move, he had me in his arms. Max’s forehead rested on top of my own, his nose gliding down my cheek. We were so close to each other, but the years of running had finally caught up. I felt the warmth of his breath on my cheek, his soft lips leaving featherlight kisses on my jaw. Why couldn’t I move? I felt alive at this moment, and I knew his lips on my skin was a luxury.

A luxury I couldn’t have anymore.

“Why can’t I forget you, Freya?” he croaked. “Why are you still so deep in there?”

“Don’t.” The words left my lips before I had time to process why I even said them. Max was about to kiss me. If he did that, it would ruin me.

“You don’t get to say anything, Max.” I pushed him offme, getting much-needed space to breathe. “Yes, I left, but you, Max, you let me go.”

He slammed his hand on the hood of his car, making me flinch.

“You fucking left with someone else, Freya. You picked someone else over me! Tell me how the fuck did you expect me to go after you when you left town with someone who wasn’t me? While I was working my ass off for our future, ready to throw away my legacy for you, you were with someone else.” The agony in his voice broke me. “I lived for your smiles and the way you clung to meat night when we sat outside your trailer watching the stars. At seventeen, I knew you were it for me… Still, you left with him.”

I couldn’t hold it in. Not anymore.

“It was a lie, Max. It was the only way I knew you would let me go.” My voice was soft;it took everything in me to reveal the truth. Maybe I should’ve told him everything, but it was too late now. Max belonged to someone else. A piece of lost history would not change that. He said it himself, he was ready to move on with his life. What happened if I told him and it changed nothing?

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