Page 49 of It's Not Home Without You

“You seem like a smart girl. Why did you go on andyell werewolf?” Jesus Christ, my grandpa had to mention the wolf in the room, didn’t he? I pinned him with a glare, but it didn’t faze him. He just glared back at me.

Emma didn’t get embarrassed; she was quick to reply. “I could barely handle hanging out with Freya for one night. How did you put up with her during her teenage years?”

Grandpa chuckled. It made me smile, even if they were laughing at my expense.

“Vodka and lots of fishing trips.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Hate to cut into your bonding, but we gotta go. Love you, Grandpa. Be back later.”

Emma didn’t suspect a thing; she even let me drive to the bar. I parked in the first spot I found. It wasn’t very far from the entrance. People were outside loitering. Emma fidgeted with the hem of her skirt, a sign she was nervous. Come to think of it, I never got nervous, not when I left town, not even when I had to start over in a city where I knew no one and only had a couple of dollars to my name. Not once in those years did I falter because I had nothing to lose. Iwashollowedand didn’t have much room for useless emotions like fear. I had already lost my heart; nothing else mattered.

I guess that was the one pro in getting my heart broken; it helped me be fearless without being reckless.

When I met Ashton, he walked into the boutique looking for a gift for his mother. At least that’s what he told me. Now I wondered if it was a lie. Maybe I helped him pick out a dress for a chick he left for me. I took a chance on him because I was lonely and because I didn’t fear gettingmy heart broken.

Not by him.

“Emma.” I held her arm before she opened her door. “Don’t be afraid to take risks because you’re scared you’ll get hurt. Take it from someone who once had it all; nothing beats that feeling I had in my heart every time I sawhim. Sure, it hurts now, but back then, every time our eyes locked, I felt the world fade. The way your heart races, the thoughts that flow through your head, and all those butterflies you get right before he kisses you. If I close my eyes, I can still picture it in my mind so perfectly clear, and those feelings come back, and they remind me how it felt to be in love. Nothing compares. Not a penthouse with a golden bridge view, not a closet filled with designer clothes. Don’t be scared to open your heart because you’re afraid of a little pain. You’ll end up regretting it.”

As much as it hurt, those two years I spent withmy boyare some of my most cherished memories.

“Oookay.” Emma got out of the car thinking I was crazy. My words might not make sense now, but they would.Grabbing her hand, I led her in through the doors, ignoring the stares we were getting.

“Freya, people are staring… I’ve changed my mind. We can go back to the woods. Hell, we can even vandalize Abigail’s car, just as long as you take the blame.”

Keeping a firm hold on Emma’s arm, I dragged her toward the back were Dex said he would wait for us.

Emma stiffened when she saw him. Her eyes widened with horror while Dex’s were filled with affection. The soft look he gave her eased my conscience, and I told myself it wasn’t a bitch move to leave my girl with him. All girls wanted love, even if we said otherwise. We justdidn’t want to sound like pathetic little princesses.

“Dex, fancy meeting you here.” My smile was wide and extra cheesy.

“You look lovely.” He only had eyes for Emma. Nudging her seemed to make her remember we were in a crowded bar.

“Hey.” Her voice was soft like a lullaby. It didn’t take long for me to leave. I told Emma I was going to the bathroom and gave Dex a look. We both knew I wasn’t coming back. I justhoped Emma didn’t hate me after this.

“Nah,it has to be something big, something motherfucking epic.” Quincy was pretty much shouting in Jess’s ear. She didn’t mind; she was hanging on to his every word.

“What’s motherfucking epic?” I asked.

Quincy whistled. I swore the boy got off on teasing me. “Girl, where are we going tonight? You look fine.”

“Kid, jailbait. Remember?”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s a damn shame. Chicks love me. I’m a chick magnet. Tell her, Glooms.”

I gave Jess a questionable look.“Glooms?”

“Because she has that whole broody thing going. She’s my girl, Gloom.”

Jess shrugged it off.

Don’t promise when you’re happy, don’t reply when you’re angry, and don’t decide when you’re sad.I was beginningto think the blackboard was magical. Italwayshit the spot. Well, I was guilty of all three, but then again, it was so easy to promise when you’re happy, when you think nothing can go wrong. It was so easy to assume everything would stay the same. It was hard to keep your mouth closed when you were mad, because if you were passionate like me, you always wanted to have the last say. And sometimes deciding when you were at your breaking point was the only way you’d get results.

I knew I did.

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