Page 44 of It's Not Home Without You

The tip of his nose grazed my ear before he whispered, “Tell me, Freya, if I was to put my hand inside your dress and my fingers inside your pussy, would you be wet for me?”

Those words coming from his mouth were erotic, and if I wasn’t already wet, I sure as hell was now. However, those words were also dirty andwrongcoming from his lips. My Max wasn’t a dirty talker; my Max wasn’t anything like this. My hesitation in answer was answer enough for Max.

“Take the check, Freya. From what I remember, you weren’t that good. I don’t want to take away your livelihood.”

That finally gave me the incentive to move, taking away the fog he had temporarily put me in. I turned around and slapped him. Hard.How dare he say thatto me!He was my first love, my first everything that was real. I gave him all of me after prom. All these years, I carried that memory with me because it was beautiful, it was pure, and I never regretted it. Not until now.

“What happened to you, Max? I don’t even recognize you anymore.” I meant it as a rhetorical question. I didn’t want an answer from him. when he took a step closer to me I had to take a step back, my body flush with the door. His eyes had gone liquid dark, and I could see an inferno ready to unleash.

He gave a bitter laugh, his lips flat in a smirk. “You want to know what happenedto me? Darling, you don’t get that privilege. Why don’t you go back to whatever hole you crawled out of?”

Those words were like a whip, his sharp tongue lashing at me. I wanted him to hate me, didn’t I? I justnever expected him to be cruel and arrogant.God, why did I keep doing this to myself?Why did I do things that would hurt me? What point did I need to prove? Max hated me, congratu-fucking-lations. When you loved someone for the first time, you gave them a piece of you, and sometimes that piece never made it back. I walked out, leaving the money behind. There was no way in hell I would keep it.

“Help! Someone, please help us!”Emma yelled again, and I didn’t mean to laugh, but I found it funny.

“We’re going to die, Freya! Die out here! What will happen to my shop, huh? My parents don’t care about it. They won’t want to take on the burden. Quincy and Jess need the money. I need the money, but hey, since I’ll be dead it won’t matter.”

“Emma, we are not going to die, unless we fall in the pond, then maybe—but it’s okay, we know CPR. We can perform it on each other.” I put my hand on Emma’s shoulder to soothe her.

Emma was overreacting. We would not die. We were just lost. Coming up to the jogging trail had been my bright idea. After my meeting with Max, I was feeling too raw and exposed. Emma only wanted to cheer me up. It wasn’t hard to convince Emma to come on a walk with me, except I didn’t tell her the walk would include a bottle of Patrón. No chaser.

Just your typical walk in the woods, a little crying, feeling sorry for myself, and chugging hard liquor. I told Emma, if she loved me, she would drink with me. No, I didn’t feel guilty for guilting her into drinking. The girl needed to loosen up.

“You want another drink?” I was slurring my words, but I had never felt better. Maybe I could live out here in the woods, nothing but darkness surrounding me. There’d be no Max. There’d be no Abigail. No, Max and Abigail.

Emma wasn’t as happy as I was. “No, I don’t want another drink! Freya, what if we never make it out? What if a bear eats us?”

“There are bears here? I didn’t know this.”

“Yeah, haven’t you seen movies? Bears live in the forest!” she informed me.

“But isn’t this a park?” My head was hurting. Either we were walking in circles, or everything was spinning.

“Emma, let’s go back to the pond. I think the way out is that way.” I fell for the fifth time. Why would I wear heels to a park? I should have changed, but I was still wearing my clothes from the morning. Emma still had on her cute, black skater dress and her apron. Lucky for her, she was wearing yellow chucks.

I laughed when I noticed my scraped knees. Emma came and plopped next to me, reaching for the bottle. “Okay, I’ll have a sip. I think I’m dehydrating from all the yelling.”

I nodded because her voice was getting hoarse.

“You know what’s funny, but also not funny at all?” I said.

“The fact that we are lost?”

“We’re misguided, not lost. What’s funny is that today I wanted Max to fuck me.” I took the bottle of tequila back and took a big gulp, wondering what we would do once the bottle was empty.

“I can’t see.” Emma did the cutest little whine.

“That’s because it’s dark and the trees block out the moonlight. If we find the pond, we can get home.” I never noticed how in the dark everything was creepier. Also,louder. I could hear the night critters. “Remind me never to wear heels again.” I moaned when I almost broke the heel of my Gucci pumps.

“Freya, w-what’s that.”

I looked over to where Emma was pointing.

I almost fainted when I saw what she pointed at. “Oh shit!Emma, it’s a wolf.”

“I have phagophobia. Do you know what that means, Freya? It means I’m terrified of being eaten alive.” Emma clung to me,both of us hugging each other to feel somewhat safer. “Most Girls” by Hailee Steinfeld played on Emma’s phone. That was her ringtone. That’s when the wolf ran. Emma got up first and helped me off the ground. We took off running in the opposite direction.

Seriously, the pond was right there, ahead of us.

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