Page 26 of It's Not Home Without You

My face was wet, tears streaming down my cheeks. It was a cold, hard truth, and Rusty was the kind ofperson who never shied away from telling it like it was. Rusty took a deep breath, calming himself, then walked up and wrapped his arms around me. I completelylost it and cried even harder, despite telling myself I had met my drama quota of the year.

“I’m sorry, Freya. Please stop crying before you make me feel like more of an asshole.”

“You are an a-a-ass-h-hole, b-but you’re l-lucky I love you.”

“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t come here to fight with you. My wife wants you to come over for dinner. She also told me to get my head out of my ass and make it good with you. Now thatwe both shared our feelings and you made me feel like I grew a pussy, can we get back to normal?”

And there it was, the elephant in the room, or in this case, the wife in the room, and she wanted to meet me. This worried me. What if she didn’t like me? Rusty had forgiven me, and I him, even if I would never forget he got married without me. What could I say? I wasn’t a saint.

“I guess. I mean, I always thought I would be your best man or best woman. I could have worn a killer pantsuit, but thanks for depriving me of that moment.” He rolled his eyes at me and walked us to his car to take me home. “To make itup, I can be the godmother to your first child.” It was the least he could do.

“Actually, that might be sooner than you expect,” he said with a silly grin on his face. Wow, this was crazy. Not only was Rusty married, but he would be a father. I waited to freak out, but it didn’t come. I guess I was making good on my drama quota.

“Wow, dude, that’s crazy. How that happened?” It was a rhetorical question. What I meant was that life went on, even when I left to live a life I didn’t want so far away from my home. Time, it waited for no one.

“I guess Eugene didn’t cover the birds and the bees talk. Gabby, when two people become intimate—”

“Ew, dude, stop. That’s so not what I meant. Tell me the name of the poor girl you conned into marrying you. What was the color scheme at your wedding? I hope it wasn’t pink. I feel like it’s tacky. I mean, it’s okay for your sweet sixteen, but a wedding? Who was the poor sap who took my place next to you at the altar? How did you propose? How long after you met her did you know she was the one?”

“Gabby, take a breather. Why don’t you come over for dinner tomorrow, and I’ll answer all your questions?”

“I guess,” I said as I jumped out of his truck. “Two more questions.” I raised my index and middle fingers.

“I have a wife waiting for me. Make it quick.” I could tell Rust was getting annoyed with all my questions. I rolled my eyes. “One, is this Bow? ’Cause I got to say, she’s fly. And two, do you think your wife and I will get along?” Rusty did nothing to ease my fear; he laughed and shook his head.

“Have a good night, Freya. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at Emma’s.” I opened my mouth again to ask one more question but immediately closed it. Instead, I waved goodbye to him. I wanted to know what he had meant about Max becoming something that would have disgusted me, but the answer scared me. I was hoping Rusty said it in the throes of drama, but it wasn’t his style. It was hard to picture Max being anything other than what he had always been. Perfect. At least to me, he was. Once upon a time.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Sixteen years old

For the firsttime in my life, I felt like a princess, twirling around in my room. When I saw my reflection, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I looked like the other girls—sophisticated, sweet, not trashy. I worked my ass off all year washing dishes for Frank at Franny’s, and it was worth it. The cream gown was long and silky with lace and pearls. Sure, it was a little outdated; I found it at a vintage store. I felt a little like Daisy, and Max in a suit, he was a sight. Gatsby had nothing on him.

My eyes landed on the promise ring Max had given me at his promposal, and I felt flutters. It made me feel better about him leaving. The University of Chicago wasn’t that far, but it felt like a world away sometimes. He promised to come back, but what if he didn’t? I shouldn’t worry about it. At least not now.

“Freya, I love you.”Just thinking about it made me shiverall over again. He finally told me he loved me last week, and I cried that night. Other than my grandparents, no one had said they loved me. Tonight would be the night. I would lose my virginity to him. I was ready, and it was Max; he would never hurt me.

“Freya, Max is here.” Grandpa knocked on my door. He had a disposable camera in his hand. I didn’t even know those still existed. He went from calling Max “that Dunnett boy” to actuallysaying his name. I thought Grandpa secretly liked him, but he was a stubborn old man and would never admit it.

“You look beautiful. You have your mama’s smile. It was a beautiful smile,” he said sadly. I, on the other hand, felt nothing when he talked about my mother.

“Cool, she gave me good genes,” I said low enough so my grandpa wouldn’t hear. I sometimes wondered if I looked like my father, but who knew, since I didn’t have one of those. My birth certificate was missing a name, but I was okay with it because I had mygrandpa’s name.

The first thing I saw was a beautiful bouquet, but it wasn’t of roses or any flowers. It was made of those small balloon hearts, the ones with the straws and never seem to deflate.

My boy never got me flowers.

Max pulled me to his body and whispered in my ear, “You are by far the prettiest girl in this town. You look like a princess.” Damn, my boy was smooth, and he didn’t even know it. Max just spoke from the heart, and that waseverything. He pulled out a beautiful corsage made of lace flowers, woven with crystals and a feather.

Never fresh flowers.

Throughout the dance, I held on to Max a little tighter, trying to remember how he smelled, how he looked at me, and what song was playing. I needed to capture every moment, so when he was no longer here, I could remember him like this.

The looks we got from everyone had stopped. After being together for almost two years, we were old news. Between Max and Rusty, no one dared to say mean things to me, and I was more than okay with it. Plus, after Prescott left, life wasn’t all that bad.

“You happy, baby?” Max’s breath fanned the skin on my neck, causing me to shiver in his arms as we danced. I turned to look at him; his green eyes went dark when I licked my lips.

“I love you, Maximilian. You make everything perfect.” I pulled my boy’s head down so I could kiss him for the whole school to see. We stopped dancing, but that was okay because Max and I danced to the beat of our hearts. No one else had that beat but us. “Let’s get out of here. I have a feeling Rusty’s good luck is about to run out,” I said as I dragged Max away from the dance floor.

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