Page 25 of It's Not Home Without You

“I was not.”

“You constantly got in trouble. You mouthed off to the teachers. You were like the anti-Christ.”

I gasped. I wasn’t that bad.

“Max left. It’s safe to come out,” Jess called, and Emma and I both looked at the now vacant space were Max had sat, just to make sure he was no longer there. Jess was no Emma; she wasn’t shy with her words.

“So, you and Max have history? That explains all the looks between the two of you,” she said.

“What looks? There are no looks,” I replied.

She snorted in a very unladylike manner. “Please. The way you look at each other, I don’t know if its longing or hate, but it’s something.”

“Do not.”

“Right, then why did he change the quote of the day?” Jess crossed her arms, daring me to defy her. Emma and I quickly looked at the blackboard. I immediately recognized his handwriting and felt foolish for not having done so before. “Distance sometimes let you know who’s worth keeping and who’s worth letting go.”

“What is he trying to say? That I wasn’t worth keeping? That it was okay to let me go?” Was I upset? Nope, not at all. I was livid, disappointed, and a little betrayed. I turnedaround, ready to go after him and demand an explanation, but Emma pushed me back.

“Think rationally. Think happy thoughts. Here, eat a muffin and have somecoffee. Or go clean that table. It’ll make you feel better.”

“Oh, I’ll feel better after I give him a piece of my mind,”I muttered.

Everything I did was for him, yet he had the audacity to say I wasn’t good enough? Unbelievable.

“Freya, let it go,” Emma whispered. She was right. What good would it do if I chased after him? Nothing good. So I stayed in the shop, fuming over what Max wrote, probably overthinking everything. Still, I did as Emma said and ate a banana muffin, had somecoffee, and cleaned tables all while I watched Emma do everything with such love and devotion. It got me wondering if I ever felt that way about anything.

Sure, I liked my job; it was a good job, challenging, but I was never passionate about it. My vacation was slowly ending, each day going faster than the next, and I still had no idea what my next step or what my new dream would be.

On the plus side, my grandpa and I were closer again, and I loved it. I couldn’t leave him again, but what was there for me to do in this small town? Could I live in the same town as Abigail and Max? I liked to think I could.

Maybe.

Possibly.

It wasn’t like I pictured Max pining for me.Although that would have been nice.I knew he might have moved on. Now I needed my brain to get the memo. I tried to evade allthoughts Max related, but that didn’t work so well. My time went fast between thinking of my next move and what Max had meant by that cryptic quote. I should ask him, right? I mean, we were both mature adults. Acting civilized shouldn’t be a problem.

“Bye, guys,” I hollered at Emma and Jess at the end of my shift. My grandpa was picking me up today, except when I walked outside, it wasn’t my grandpa’s car parked and waiting for me. It was Rusty’s. He was sitting on the hood of a very shiny, black Ford that, if I wasn’t mistaken, was a now beautifully restored Bow.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Rusty drawled as soon as he saw me.

I had been avoiding him ever since I found out he was married. I was butthurt about it and still trying to process the factthat my best friend got married and didn’t invite me. Sure, I left, but come on, he was like my brother, and he was a guy. Weren’t guys supposed to be like less sentimental or something, or was I being sexist?

“Grandpa isn’t coming, is he?”

He shook his head, not feeling an ounce of sympathy for me.

Asshole.

“I’m not avoiding you, but I’m also not seeking you out. Does that make sense?” His eyes flashed with annoyance. I had to admit, it wasn’t one of my finest moments.

“At the risk of sounding pathetic, selfish, and egotistical—how could you get married and not invite me! I get that I left, but it’s not like I was out there getting engaged, gettingmarried, or popping out babies.” My hands were waving like crazy because I was mad. Maybe I didn’t have a right to be mad, but that didn’t matter because I was hurt. Scratch that,it cut deep. Out of everyone, the last person I would have thought would forget about me was Rusty. “I feel like I didn’t even matter. ‘Oh, Freya left, so guess I won’t invite her to my wedding.’ Out with the old and in with the new.” My voice shook, so I shut up before I cried. Rusty was staring at me with an expression that could be pity, and he wasn’t talking. “Well, say something!”

“You never reached out. I thought after a year, you would have called or texted me, but the years went by, and I figured you left this town behind you and wouldn’t want a reminder. By the time I got married, I’m not going to say I wouldn’t have wanted you there, but I think it was for the best you weren’t there.” I flinched at the last part. My eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “You blew this town, not caring about the mess you left behind. I needed you that year, but you weren’t here. Eugene was miserable without you, but for some insane reason, he said it was for the best, and don’t even get me started on Max.”

“Please stop,” I pleaded. I couldn’t hear more of it. It would kill the mental image I had created for myself, but Rusty wasn’t kind. I didn’t deserve kindness right now.

“Max, he fucking lost it. I saw him shatter right before my eyes. I saw him turn into something that would havedisgustedyou. Then when you finally become a childhood memory, you stroll back into town thinking everything will be just like you left it. I got news for you, Gabby, justbecause you left doesn’t mean the rest of us stopped living our lives waiting for your return.”

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