Page 20 of No Place Like Home

“It’s everything I’ve worked for. All the sacrifices, pushing my body to its limits, being away all the time, it paid off…but once I got it, the playing field changed. It was like going from easy to master mode overnight.”

“But you still love it.” I nudged his shoulder.

Q nodded, a pleased smile appearing on his handsome features. “I don’t think I’ll ever not love it. The field…that’s my home.”

That must have been nice. Knowing what you wanted, knowing what your mission was, knowing where your home was. In this town, I felt like an outcast sometimes. It wasn’t the most diverse. Q and I were in the minority, but most of the people made you feel welcome. My father's family never did, but now I didn’t feel so left out. Not like before.

“How about you? How’d you get into teaching?”

I found it hard to start talking. Everything about the past reminded me of my…mom, and I hated how conflicted I still felt about her. My therapist said that one day I would come to terms with her decision, that the important thing was that I didn’t hate her anymore. But sometimes…I still did.

“After everything that went down, I was going to stay home. My scholarship could go fuck off, and my plan had been to take care of Rosie…but Juliet wasn’t having it. When she took Rosie and me, she was broke and barely surviving, but she didn’t care because…she loved us.”

My voice broke at the last part. Juliet loved my sister and me, and she went to bat for us, something my—

It was better not to think about that.

“I always had more of a mother-daughter relationship with Rosie.”

“I remember that I used to think you were a really good sister. You still are.”

I couldn’t help but snort. “I had to be. What was she going to do without me?”

“Jess,” Q hissed before grabbing me by my shoulder and giving me a hug.

It felt nice, since he towered over me and was about a hundred pounds heavier than me. I felt like I disappeared into him and wasn’t myself, even if it was just for a few moments.

Once he pulled away, I cleared my throat and kept going. “It was hard for me to leave Rosie with Juliet. I had become so dependent on looking out for my sister that I took on another role so I would forget that I was a daughter in allthatmess. When I left for college, I took early development classes for Rosie. I figured it would help me with her, and I liked them. I knew I had the patience with kids, so I kinda fell into it.”

I didn’t say how my experience could help make a difference in children who were going through things I went through.

“Since you don’t like Jessamine, can I call you Jessa?”

My eyes widened. “What’s wrong with Jess?”

He looked intently at my face, and I felt my cheeks burn. I told myself it was his stupid prototype sweater. I was having an allergic reaction to it.

“It doesn’t fit you. I don’t think it ever did. It’s too plain for someone like you.”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Shit, his words did something funny to me.

“Jessa’s fine. It’s notthatgirly.” I shut my mouth when I realized my mistake.

Quincy came to a halt, his eyes meeting mine, and it reminded me of how he looked at me at my mother's funeral. It made it hard to breathe.

“Glooms.” His hand came to my chin with his thumb caressing my cheek, using my old nickname with a tenderness he hadn’t used before.

I was going to have a heart attack. I could feel it in the way my heart raced too fast, and my skin felt clammy and hot.

“You might not like Jessamine, but you are still a flower. You might have been many things, but never a wallflower. You, Jessamine, are a wildflower. Despite all the crap that soiled you, you still bloomed and grew where most would have withered.”

Yeah, I was going to die. My chest kept rising and falling, my breathing was labored, and my eyes stung, but I felt my heart was cracking open.

Quincy noticed my panic. One second, I was a few feet away from him, and then his scent was everywhere.

“It’s okay, Jessa. I’ve got you.”

My body was pulled into a tight hug. It smelled like my hoodie, but ten times stronger. My head was cradled, and things whispered in my ear, but I closed my eyes tightly, trying to contain my tears. I hadn’t cried in a long time. After a few minutes of deep breathing and repeating my personal mantra, I calmed down enough to get my shit together.

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