Page 117 of No Place Like Home

“Rosie didn’t want to come?” I asked Juliet after a while.

She gave me a sad smile.

Ignoring that for now, I asked about the only other person missing from this gathering.

“And Blake?”

“He’s out of town. He should be here tomorrow.”

Okay, that gave me time. I owed him an explanation and an apology.

“Would you mind watching Quinn?” I asked, since Quinn was having a blast with all the kids.

“Anytime, Jess.”

“I’m going to go talk to him,” I told her as I decided that the sooner we talked, the better it would be.

Now here I was, backing away from every step Quincy took my way.

“How long ago was that?” he demanded.

When I didn’t reply, he kept going.

“You always had something snarky to say. You were the first to open your mouth when something happened and you didn’t like it. You're ready to go to hell for other people, but you get scared when it comes to yourself.”

I stopped backing away, because he was making me angry.

“I’m not here for that,” I bit out.

He was standing in front of me now. The closest we had been in three years was as terrifying a feeling as it was amazing. I wanted to run into his arms and wished like hell that I had been strong enough last time to not walk away.

“How long ago, Jessamine?”

The way he said my name—the intensity in those jade eyes—I couldn't think.

“Answer me. No bullshit. ‘Cause I really want to believe you didn’t go out of your way to fuck me over.”

“Three years ago,” I admitted as I held his gaze.

His eyes flashed with pain. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but him resting his head on top of my own was not it. It was too much contact, much too soon.

“You didn’t try to hide it from me,” he hissed, almost relieved.

This bought me back to my senses. I put my hands on his chest. I forgot how much he towered over me and how I’d never admitted that I loved it because it made me feel safe and protected. My hands made contact with his chest, and he let out a low groan. His chest was as firm as ever. I pushed him back…or tried to, because I wasn’t a match for him.

“For the first time in my life, I had something that was just mine. Something I had created,” I began to say as I looked down at our feet.

Quincy took my hands and kept them locked to his chest. I could feel the vibrations of his heart beating, faster than my own. I’d practiced this speech a thousand times, but saying it was much harder than I had thought.

“Everything I had ever loved had been taken from me. I lost my dad when I stopped seeing him with innocent eyes. He stopped being dad and just my father….” I took a deep breath, because getting the words out was causing me pain.

“You don’t have to talk about him,” Quincy whispered.

I hated to talk about him, but he was part of my story. And not acknowledging him wasn’t going to do anything but blindside me whenever he was brought up.

“I lost my mother way before she was murdered. I loved her…b-b-but I hated her.” My voice broke, and I gripped his shirt. “I hated her so much for being weak. I wanted her to grab Rosie and me and run away with us.” I could feel my eyes getting moist. “And even if it sounds stupid, I felt like I lost Rosie. I watched my baby sister have a family. And a part of me was envious, but the other didn’t want to take that away from her, so I backed away.”

It was scary to look at him again, because I felt his gaze burning a hole through me. Being vulnerable was terrifying. Opening yourself completely and giving another person a chance to call your fears and insecurities bullshit. It took me being a mother to finally forgive my own. She must've been scared of being alone in this place, and the only people she had for support were two daughters who deserved more.

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