Page 47 of In the Midst of Chaos

He couldn’t mean that he wanted to marry me, right?

“Marriage is gross,” I said, hiding the fact that I had already picked, and I hoped to God he had not done the same.

Chapter Sixteen

Rain poured down my windowpane.It was light, no signs of the storm yet, but I knew it was coming. You could smell it in the air, a sense of impending doom heading our way.

I sat on the chaise next to my window that overlooked the clearing and the lake. I missed going there to swim. It was one of my favorite places to go in the summer. I loved it when Nash was there because he would always swim with me. Then when he got older, it was like he was too cool to be there with us.

I rested my head on the wall and remembered the way Nash touched me. How every time we got together, it seemed to be explosive, like we were both gasping for air.

That’s the thing about storms—you really don’t see how destructive they are until the next day; and the same could be said for Nashton and me.

My room flashed when the first lightning cracked in the sky. My heart started to palpitate. I went for my blanket and made my way out of my room. I was on the bottom steps when I heard footsteps coming my way. Current flowed through my veins, thinking he’d finally come back to show his face. I hid behind the stairwell, wondering if he was really making his way up to my room.

Disappointment coursed through me when I saw it was Huxley and not Nash. I sighed when I saw him make his way upstairs.

There were many rooms in this manor; he wouldn’t exactly know I went to Nash, just that I wasn’t in mine for the night. Or if he wanted to think I was with someone else, that was fine by me too.

I was making my way past the kitchen when another flash of lightning struck, and I screamed, bringing one of my hands to my mouth by the shadow that the lighting illuminated.

“For fuck’s sake, Leon, are you trying to kill me?” I asked.

He sat on a stool. He had papers all over the kitchen island. It wasn’t unusual for him to crash at the manor when meetings ran late, or the weather didn’t permit you to ride the bike.

“Sorry, I forgot how much you like to wander,” he uttered.

Ignoring him, I kept walking toward the back.

Lightning struck again, and I jumped.

I turned back and saw Leon staring at me intently.

“Can I help you?”

He shook his head.

“I didn’t know you were scared of lightning,” he said like something made sense to him.

“Everybody is scared of something,” I told him. “It’s what stops us from being monsters.”

Leon made a face. “I was sure all those lessons with Micah were about turning you into a monster.”

I rolled my eyes. “You don’t understand.”

Leon scoffed. “And what does a child know that I don’t?”

“I know all about the weight of a crown. That’s something you’re never going to know. Some kings are born, others are made, and I was born to rule, but my father made sure I was made in the right way.”

His lips curled in disgust. He didn’t say more if he was offended because he was always walking a precarious line when it came to the boys and me.

Something about the action had me pausing and cocking my head. It seemed so familiar, but I couldn’t place how or why now. It’s something I was used to seeing from him over the years.

The sound of thunder could be heard rumbling through the windows. I made my way out of the kitchen and down to the last level of the house.

I hated Nash for making me feel safe and unwanted at the same time. My only consolation was that I hadn’t seen him since the day we had sex.

As I reached for the doorknob, I told myself that I would sleep in another of the guest rooms for the night if it was locked. I didn’t need him to feel safe from the storm.

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