Page 45 of In the Midst of Chaos

He let go of me, and it felt like a physical blow.

“It doesn’t even matter,” he said, and I staggered back.

It didn’t matter? He was going to pretend like every touch and kiss didn’t mean a thing?

“You belong to him,” he said in a monotone voice.

“I belong to no one.” I seethed.

He shook his head. “Answer me this.” He paused, and I held my breath. “Did you choose him?”

“You have to understan—”

“Yes or no?” he shouted. He took a step toward me and grabbed me by my cheeks, tipped my head back, and kissed me. “Did you choose him?”

“Yes,” I sobbed.

He let go of me.

“This was a fucking mistake,” he said as he turned around and walked away.

“Nash,” I yelled after him, but he didn’t stop.

I walked over to one of the trees, and I slid down. Who would have thought that at just eleven years old, I would have sealed my own fate?

* * *

I was seatedat my father’s desk, and I’d never felt so small. It was vast and ancient, and I felt so unimportant.

We had our weekly lessons. It included anything from war strategy to playing games like chess or timing me on a Rubik’s cube. You never really knew where it would go with my father.

He watched me as I made my next move. We were currently playing chess. He said I always started too strong, and then he would kill my queen and call it a lesson.

“Focus,” he said as he took a drag of his thick cigar. He was so fond of those that the smell was ingrained in his office. It smelled homey.

“Sorry, Daddy,” I said as I contemplated which piece to move next. He looked at me as I stared at the board in deep thought.

“Who would you like to marry?” he asked. And my head snapped back. What kind of question was that? I never thought of marriage or anything of that sort. I was only eleven. I figured I would marry one of the Crull boys and call it a day since most boys were gross.

The Crull brothers were in the family, and they got me. They all loved me in their own way, and in return, I loved them in my own way.

“Marry?” I asked as I moved a knight.

“Yes, I’d like to take your opinion into consideration.”

That made me feel good. Like I was grown, and Daddy was taking my opinion into consideration before he made a decision.

“I can pick who I want?” I asked, a little cheerful.

“It has to be a Crull; an alliance with their family is much needed. Gunner loves Nate as if he were his own, but sadly, that is not the case. So who will it be, princess?”

I scrunched my nose. “Not Duncan; he’s too little. Practically a baby.”

That was a lie. He was a bit more than two years younger than me.

My father chuckled. “That won’t matter in a couple of years. I bet he will be taller than you.”

I refrained from making a gagging sound.

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