Page 23 of In the Midst of Chaos

I lifted my head and eyed Huxley, and he looked triumphant. As if holding my hand had been a conquest and he was made victorious. I didn’t expect to feel the pain that radiated in my body the moment Nashton took notice of our arrival.

His eyes latched onto where Huxley and I held hands. His jaw didn’t go hard, and those mismatched eyes that I loved so much didn’t glare. It was just for a fraction of a second, but his shoulders sagged, and then our eyes met, and it was written all over his face—acceptance.

I let go of Huxley’s hold and made my way to my seat. I wanted to taunt Nash, to force him to realize the harsh reality that if I wanted to keep my father’s word, I could and would marry his brother. The saddest thing was that he had already resigned himself to the idea that I would become a Crull, just not by him.

At this point, I didn’t know what hurt more—him not begging for my forgiveness or the fact that he was ready to cast me aside to his brother.

“Are ‘save the dates’ coming soon?” Duncan asked as he took a seat next to me. I was grateful for it because I wouldn’t have to worry about Nash or Huxley as I got my game face on.

When the heli took off, I was relieved because it would cease all conversation.

The building for DD enterprises was the tallest of them all. I stayed in my seat for a while longer, just marveling at the beauty below me. The world was at our fingertips, but one wrong move and the fall from the top would be deadly.

Showtime.

Huxley was waiting for me with his hand outstretched. I looked at it but didn’t take it. His face fell.

“I need some time,” I told him. “I want to go to my dad’s office.”

“I thought—”

“I still stand by what I said. I will not marry you.”

“Then what was that back there?” he spat at me.

“That was me needing a friend.” I smiled sadly at him.

He turned around and left without another word to me. Ignoring him, I squared my shoulders and took one heeled step in front of the other.

Guess I was going to be riding the elevator alone. I was fine. One thing that my father told me and made sure I had stuck in my head was that I didn’t need anyone.

“Don’t let loneliness take you into the arms of people who aren’t worthy of you. Don’t let pride keep you from people who will make you happy. You don’t need anyone, Finnie, and once you realize that, you’ll know your worth. Sadly, that’s not something I can teach you.”

My father had a point. He could teach me to be fearless, how to run an empire, but he couldn’t teach me my worth. I had to learn that on my own. I learned it while I was alone, while I was surviving with a broken heart. I learned to love myself when there was no one around to love me.

I stepped into the elevator, feeling better about today’s meeting because I belonged here; everything that was going to get handed down to me, I had earned.

The elevator was about to close when I felt him stepping in with me.

My belly fluttered, and I had hoped those butterflies I felt would turn into claws and tear me from the inside out. Because when it came to Nashton, I was like an addict.Our encounters, no matter how brief or cruel, got me high, but as soon as it was over, I felt sick. I needed more of him, but deep down, I knew I didn’t need to want him at all.

“What do you want?” I barked.

He ran a hand through his hair. I waited to see what he would do. Let him make the first move.Since things got complicated with us, it felt like the world was a chessboard, and we were waiting to see who would say checkmate.

I looked at the numbers in the elevator moving, taking us to the boardroom floor.

“Fuck it,” Nash murmured before he stalked to me.

My heart started to pound against my chest, begging me to move and get out of his path because we had barely survived the aftermath he’d left in his wake, and we couldn’t do it a second time.

I didn’t move out of the way. I didn’t cower. A long time ago, I knew I would take anything and everything Nash would give me, and I would still ask for seconds.

That’s the thing about love; it’s never enough.

He came at me with such force that I steeled myself against the elevator rail. One of his hands went to the back of my neck. He gripped my hair and forced me to look up at him. His other hand came to my cheek—soft and sweet, a torturous combination.

His mouth descended on mine with a vengeance. It was a cruel kiss. It was full of hopes and dreams that came to die at my lips. My hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, knowing that it was never going to be close enough. He was always too untouchable; even when he had been mine, I knew it was just on borrowed time.

---