Page 74 of In the Midst of Chaos

“Mommy,” I whimpered, and both their heads swung my way.

Leon still looked like he wanted to scream at my mom while being conflicted about me being there.

“It’s okay, baby, Mommy’s fine,” she said as she pulled from Leon’s grip and walked to me.

“I’ll see myself to Micah’s study,” Leon said as he left us alone.

My mom ignored him and came down to kneel by me. She wrapped me in a hug. “Not a word of this to Daddy, okay, sweetie? Or else Mommy will get hurt. And you don’t want your mommy hurt, right?” she asked me.

Of course I never wanted to see her hurt. I kissed her cheek.

“I promise, Mommy.”

Bile rose up my throat, and I realized I was puking my guts out. The car’s motion got me sick, plus the memory of the reason why Leon hated us, but most importantly, me.

He had loved my mother, and she went around sleeping with everyone. I had dealt with that and accepted it because my father didn’t love her, but the fact that she got pregnant and called it a problem—that I couldn’t deal with.

A few weeks later, she died, and I guess a part of me felt guilty because I couldn’t keep her alive, and over the years, I just forgot about that. It was easier to not think about her than to see just how messed up she was.

Avoiding her memory kept it preserved.

The car stopped, and then there was nothing and no one there. I heard the sound of an engine approaching and footsteps. Then it was all quiet, and I wondered if they’d left me here to die.

The hardest lesson my father ever taught me is that a king carried his burden alone, and when it came to dying, he also died alone.

I closed my eyes, ready to welcome the peace that was coming my way. My breathing was getting shallow, and the pain was getting numb.

Then I felt it.

It was like the earth started to shake, vibrating life into me. The walls of the van rocked with the intensity coming from outside.

The roar of Harleys could be heard much stronger now. They were like a marching band coming to get me, or maybe they were taking me to the afterlife. Who knew?

Light poured into the van, coming from behind me. It wasn’t directed at me, but it blinded me. My eyes closed when I heard someone jump inside, screaming.

My body was lifted from the ground and was pressed against someone else. They smelled clean, and I felt embarrassed because I reeked.

“Baby.”

God, that voice.

I never thought I would hear it again.

It sounded desperate.

“Baby, talk to me.”

Nash held me to his chest, trying to wrap his arms all over my body while somebody said to let me go so they could check me over.

“Finley, baby,please,” he begged.

Talking would feel like knives going down my throat, but the desperation in his voice undid me. I wanted to soothe his pain and let him know I was okay.

“I…” The word crawled out of my throat, trying to remain inside and stop myself from speaking.

Nash froze. He pulled away so he could look at my face.

His eyes were so bright and intense, it was like looking into heaven and hell at the same time.

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