Page 49 of In the Midst of Chaos

“You feel so fucking perfect,” he said between gritted teeth as he kissed the top of my breast. His hands came to my nipples as he fucked me, and he pinched me, then bent his head and sucked them.

“I’m so close,” I whimpered.

Nash pulled back, and then he put my legs over his shoulders and started to fuck me hard. My back arched, and my head rolled to the side. He began to kiss all over my neck. He sucked and nipped every inch of skin he got his hands on. This felt exactly like that last time we had been together, and that scared the shit out of me. When I came, I screamed with the memory of when it all went to shit, falling out of my lips.

Chapter Seventeen

It had been so longsince I had been to my parents’ mansion. It wasn’t far off from Crull Manor, but it was too big and empty, full of haunting memories. I had enough demons living in my head. I didn’t need to see more. And now that I was older, all I saw were the fucked-up lies that glittered like gold, and I believed them all.

After my dad’s death, they didn’t sell the house. It was transferred to me, but just like everything else, I wouldn’t hold any types of deeds until after my twenty-fifth birthday.

Not going to lie—knowing I would inherit all those assets made me feel like a grown-up, and sometimes I felt like I wasn’t even taking good care of myself.

Exhibit A: I had fucked Nash twice in less than a week. My “I’m horny” excuse would get old soon.

Daddy, you did not prepare me for this mess when you gave me the marriage talk.

I mean, I fucked Nashton, and I hated how weak it made me feel. That had to mean my father was wrong about love. At least that’s what I told myself.

There was a knock on my door, and I was a little scared and maybe somewhat hopeful to see who would walk through those doors.

“Who fucked your man?” Duncan singsonged as he walked in. He made his way to my bed, then threw himself next to me. I hadn’t seen him in a few days since he was out on club business with Axton.

I rolled my eyes at him.

“Oh, that’s right, you beat Dawn because you thought she did,” he joked. I didn’t find it funny, but he did.

“Ha ha, aren’t you hilarious?”

“Babe, it’s all the club’s talking about.”

Great, I was afraid of that. It was why I hadn’t shown my face anywhere in days.

“Finley?” he asked in a serious tone.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“He didn’t fuck her. He didn’t fuck any of the whores.”

I stood up, throwing one of the pillows on his face. “Please, are you going to tell me that he’s been celibate?”

He was a biker, a criminal—he was not going to be at home pining over one girl. I mean, I hadn’t been pining. There weren’t many, but I also wasn’t at home waiting for him to come find me.

There was a hole in my heart, and I wanted it filled. I didn’t care about the cost.

At first, I bedded a guy as a fuck-you to Nash, then to erase all his touches, but the thing about sex, it doesn’t even mean shit unless the person does, and Nashton meant a shit ton to me. So, therefore, everything I did just made me feel even more empty.

“He doesn’t shit where he eats” was all Duncan said, and somehow it didn’t make me feel better.

“Wow, that’s a great way to avoid clingy bitches,” I said, full of sarcasm.

“What I’m saying is that he stopped touching club whores a bit after you two got together, because he didn’t want it getting back to you.”

I sucked in a breath.

So the other girls were before me. Not that it should matter, but somehow it fucking did.

“He was mad yesterday, but there was a pleased smile on his face.” Duncan came up to me and ruffled my hair.

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