Page 46 of Cruel Crown

And just like that, I no longer was in the room with him. I was so strong all the time, my walls built so high, that nothing fazed him, but he made me weak and made me forget what it was I was supposed to be doing. I looked up at the ceiling and stared at the mirror and met my reflection. I was no longer twenty-five but sixteen again. The man with me was not one I trusted but the newest one who had bought me.

The silken sheets beneath my body might be of the finest silk, but at the moment, they burned against my skin, the touch so soft compared to the hell that would come.

My heart was pounding, my hands were damp, and between my legs, I could already feel the ache that was about to be inflicted. The men always said I made them feel good, but every time, I felt dirty, used, like I wanted to claw out of my skin and just die.

There was always a conflict between my heart and my mind. The way my heart would speed up and slow down like a sad melody, telling me that it was okay to just close my eyes and let go into a dark abyss and never look back. But my mind, my over-sharp mind kept reminding me that taking my life was the coward’s way out. I wasn’t made to break, and I wasn’t made to kneel. I was made to rule, so while I was in pain, I let my mind wander to another place where revenge would be sweet, one where I could change the world and I could prevent this from happening to other boys and girls.

The man took off the jacket he wore. The fact that he was younger, fit, and a bit more appealing than all the other men made me feel more terrified of him than anything else. He took a step toward where I sat on the edge of the bed. His hand came to my cheek and caressed it gently.

He crouched in front of me so we were at eye level. I was a girl, and he was most certainly a man.

“You are quite valuable—daughter of the dragon,” he said in awe as if being Ivan’s daughter made me magical. He had it all wrong, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.

“You crave freedom, and I want power, and I believe together we can achieve that and more.”

I gulped, too scared to say the wrong thing that might make him mad and want to hurt me more than what he was already going to do.

“You’re going to want me, beg for me because I own all of you,” Yorovich Morozov said before he pushed me on the bed.

This room had always been my sanctuary, and now it was ruined. He didn’t fuck me hard like all the others, and when he was done, I somehow felt dirtier than ever before. My father had traded my soul for a piece of gold.

Gideon

Patience was a virtue, and I was running thin on it. The moment Daphne opened the door, I stopped myself from gloating. She was fucking beautiful. Long hair, short hair, probably no hair, and I would feel the same way.

When she got on her knees for me and took my hand, I knew that moment was monumental, all on its own. I didn’t make her, there was no power play, and she walked in here looking to take care of me.

No one had ever done such thing, and I realized at that moment that it was not the first time she’d taken care of me in her own fucked-up way.

My chest expanded and shrunk, but I gave nothing away because she was like a wild animal sometimes. The wrong move and she got spooked. So I talked to her about other things. The fact that I was in her old room wasn’t at all surprising. Since meeting her, there had been an attraction. Two broken souls that molded against one another. She didn’t run from me, and I wasn’t intimidated by her.

“And what are you going to win? Death?” she taunted me. I cut her off with a kiss before I told her I was going to win her. I loved a good challenge, and winning her over so far had been the ultimate one in my life.

“I’m going to make you beg for me,” I whispered against her lips, imagining how she looked with them bloody because she was jealous someone else had warmed my bed. “Make you scream my name.” I kissed her neck. My dick ached, and it felt like it had been so long since I had been inside of her. “I’m going to own all of you.” I lost my control and flipped her over my body, thrusting against her hips when she suddenly went still beneath me.

The faraway look in her eyes was one I knew damn well. It was the same look my mother got after pleading with me not to watch. It was the look she got when she just gave up and let her mind wander.

It fucking terrified me.

“Petal,” I hissed as I removed all my weight from her. Her eyes met mine, and they were dead. She blinked again, and everything she tried to keep locked inside was there, pouring out of her in waves.

Once upon a time, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to finish breaking her or protect her, but now I knew. There was a soft spot in her. Somewhere that she kept hidden deep in all the dark, she could lie to herself all she wanted, but I had gotten near it, and I thought that’s what scared her the most. The fact that I would see the real her.

She pushed me away and I let her. Her silver eyes were unguarded but not stormy. They were at peace. She sat at the edge of the bed, and I crouched in front of her. She smiled sadly at me.

“Oh, the irony,” she whispered. “The last time I was in this room, it was when Yoro came for me. My only safe place in the world stopped being safe.” Rage burned through me at the mere mention of his name, and I wanted to kill him all over again. The memory of him bent and screaming was enough to calm me down so that I could keep listening to her.

“My father wanted to do business with him, to have a share of everything his empire was going to profit from. I don’t know how he knew he liked younger girls, but that’s the thing about Ivan: he always found the thing you loved the most and exploited it. That’s who Damian learned from.”

“I’m going to kill every single person who has ever hurt you,” I vowed. “And once I’m in hell, I’ll find the ones I didn’t get to in this lifetime and make them suffer there too.”

She leaned forward and cupped my cheeks with both her hands. “You make me feel afraid. You make me forget and make me feel like I am not dying a bit inside every day, but I can’t have that. I learned to live without a heart, and I am okay with that. I have to be because if I forget everything I’ve been through, forget the ones who hurt me, and forget the pain, then everything I have been through will be in vain. Every single person who has been damaged bymypeople depend on me, and if I forget, then I am just like everyone who has turned their backs on the helpless. And if I have to sacrifice my own happiness, my own peace, for a war, I might not even win, I will do it, no questions asked. I won’t even bat an eyelash to trade what I want for what is right. If you keep pushing, I am going to keep pulling, and at the end of the day, I will do what I was trained to do—I’m going to kill you.” She closed her eyes, and a tear slid down her cheek, and I somehow managed to hold myself back. “Please,” she whispered. “Don’t make it so I have to kill you.”

“Why are you so afraid? I never took you for a fucking coward,” I spat because I was angry, but most of all, I was scared. We’d done this cat-and-mouse game but never like this. Never so raw that I felt her pain drip out of her pores, seeping into my soul. “What does Damian have against you? I don’t fucking get it, Petal.”

“That doesn’t matter.” She pushed my chest so I would allow her to leave.

“It does to me, and the only thing I can think of is that the fucker is in love with you, and you also broke his heart.”

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