Page 66 of Falcon's Prey

“So fucking stupid.”

The shivers didn’t go away; they stayed with me the whole night, keeping me company and keeping me miserable. Water was poured down my throat, but it wasn’t what I needed. My throat was raw from screaming and begging.

“I’m going to hurt you.”

I thrashed some more, trying to get away from Silas.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ember. Remember, you asked for this.” He grinned at me.

How did I ask for anything? There were two things I asked for in life, and I never got either of them. I wanted a mother, and she left this world as soon as I came to it. The other was a father, but his empire was more important than I was.

“You’re going to regret betraying me.”

Silas hated how freely I gave myself to Ren. It took effort, but I smiled at him. If I was dying, I wanted the last word. I wanted to make it count.

“You’ve done everything to me, and I’m still not yours.”

I underestimated him yet again. I saw blurry hands at my throat. He wasn’t choking me like he had when he raped me—not this time. This time it was just two fingers at each side of my throat. I didn’t fight it all when instead of feeling cold, I started to feel nothing.

I stayed in a state of delirium, hot flashes, and shivers for a few days. With the voices inside my head waging war on me. With the demons that lurked in my mind promising sweet nothings. It was dangerous to be in a state of “in-between”—you never knew what would come out of your mouth. The heart spoke freely when it wasn’t guarded.

I woke up shivering, even though I was under blankets. It felt like a dream, the fact that Ren had taken me. Not like a good dream, but in the sense that it didn’t even feel real. There was no sign of Ren in the dark room. I let my eyes wander, trying to find any clue as to where I might be. No windows, barely any homey touches to the place. The only thing this room did smell strongly like was like him.

I tried to sort through my hazy memories, trying to figure out what was real, what was a delusion, and how much time had passed since he’d taken me. Now that I was waking up, I felt the small buzz of a headache. Turning my head to the other side, I saw a door, and it took strength, but I made myself get up. That was when I felt a small thud pulling me back.

The damn fucking dog collar.

So that wasn’t a dream. I brought my head back and went for where the leash connected with the collar and managed to open it after several tries.

Getting out of bed was easier said than done, but when I did, I felt wobbly, but not entirely weak, which was odd.

The door wasn’t a way out, but it was a bathroom. It smelled like Ren, like his cologne and aftershave. I leaned against the frame, just taking in his smell, and it gave me a sense of familiarity and comfort. Great, I was starting to develop Stockholm syndrome, wasn’t I? I was a fucking guppy, I swear.

As my body shivered, I decided I could do with a hot shower. Maybe that could make me feel more human. Stripping off my clothes, I stood under the shower, letting it warm me. I was so tired I sat in the tub, not caring for anything else. I just closed my eyes and wondered when the hell my life got so fucking complicated.

“You’re having withdrawals.” Ren’s husky tone interrupted my thoughts.

He stood a foot away from me, watching me, his eyes tracing every inch of my body. When I didn’t say more, he continued to stare at me before he spoke again.

“Why?”

“I’m a fucking addict. That’s why,” I spat.

Ren let me soak in the water for a little while longer, and I was grateful for it. I was aware of his eyes as I made a move to wash up. I didn’t know what kind of fucked-up I was when I started to feel hot for other reasons other than the boiling water. It was a mix of shame and arousal. When he made his way to me, my whole body became alert. My nipples pebbled, and my pussy ached.Yep, I’m suffering from Stockholm syndrome.The only acceptable explanation for why I was acting like a hussy now. As I washed, I noticed dark bruising by the vein in my arm. I turned to look at Ren, but he gave nothing away.

The more I stared at him, the more I desperately tried to think about what happened between him kidnapping me, my delirium, and today. Ren turned off the shower, then grabbed a towel and picked me up. Neither of us said a word as he took me back to the bed.

“You lied to me.”

“What?” Ren replied.

“Youknewme.”

There was silence. Ren sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard, bringing my body between his open legs. My back to his chest, he wrapped his arms around me. It seemed so mundane, so out of place, I almost laughed.

“That’s what you want to lead with?” he mocked in my ear.

“You’ve killed.”

---