Page 103 of Falcon's Prey

Pam could tell I got upset. When she told me how good it felt when Ren fucked her, I punched that bitch hard. It made her fall. She tried to come at me, but I pulled out the scalpel Ren left by our bed.

Our bed.

Where he fucked me last night.

I looked at Pam and saw jealousy soar in her eyes.

“Stay away from me,” I spat.

I wasn’t going to tell her to stay away from Ren; that wasn’t the kind of woman I was. Telling her to stay away from Ren made me feel weak, so I’d rather not say anything at all. She could keep her memories while I got the real thing. On my way to my room, I grabbed a notebook she had been using and her pen and closed my door.

I couldn’t remember when the last time I had sketched. It was something that would bring me temporary joy when I was little. One of my early memories was showing my father my designs. As I got older, I doodled my dreams for the company, knowing no one would ever see them.

That day, I drew out of anger and despair. I was feeling so hopeless and scared. It wasn’t even about Silas that day; it was about the things that were happening with Ren. The way he made me feel like I was so incredibly alive one second and like I was drowning the next.

Still, I missed him. It was irrational and stupid, but I couldn’t sleep without him. Since I was free of Silas, he was always there. Even when he wasn’t staying with me, he was in the same house. In ways, he reminded me of Silas. He had a lot of the qualities I’d once found attractive in my dear ol’ uncle. Ruthlessness, unapologetic, headstrong, but where Silas made me feel like I was shit, Ren made me feel like it was okay…like I was fine to keep being me.

By the time Ren got home, I was tired of letting my mind wander all night. I was still annoyed; he hadn’t told me about Pam. I was so mad I missed the awe in his voice as he saw my sketches like he was proud of me.

The word was foreign on my tongue. No one had ever been proud of me. Then he set the bag next to me and headed to the bathroom. I recognized the purse right away; it was one of mine. It contained some clothes, my shampoos, and my favorite pair of Louboutins. As I rummaged through it, I found an envelope, but left that inside.

There was only one person Ren could have gone to get this from, and it was the doctor. I grabbed the shampoos, holding them close to my chest. No one had ever done something like this for me. He was telling me he was sorry I was in this situation, offering me comfort without saying the words. That was beautiful to me. I had to stop myself from crying in front of him.

I was in the arms of a killer, and I’d never felt so safe. He was covered in blood and my fingers in ink. I got in that shower with him, and the water washed off everything we had been, leaving just him and me bare. We didn’t have to make sense. We didn’t have to be normal; he was a beautiful nightmare, and I never wanted him to let me go. Dreams were wishful thinking and ended too soon, but nightmares went on forever, and Ren brought delight to mine. I felt like I’d found peace under his dark wings.

Now here I was sitting down on a couch in the back part of the house. The space was empty like it was being remodeled. Ren was shirtless, all his muscles on full display. His face was no longer clean-shaven, but he had a little stubble, reminding me ofmyRen. In his mouth, he had a blunt. I didn’t think it was wise to smoke while practicing, but you couldn’t tell Ren what to do. His pants rode low, and the top of his black boxers was peeking out. The V was defined, and I wanted to run my tongue through it. He let out a punch to Gideon. Much like Ren, he was also shirtless. He was more muscular than I had given him credit for. From his neck, all the way down, his body was covered in tattoos. He was a gorgeous piece of art. Pam was nowhere in sight, and I was glad. She was either hiding somewhere else or had found a new fuck buddy.

“I want to see blood!” I cheered.

“She’s a vicious little thing, isn’t she?” G said as he dodged another of Ren’s punches.

I continued to talk smack as their fighting went from playful to full-on competitive, all while I took a hit from my mini little bong. Ren had given it to me the other day while I was sketching.

“I couldn’t get you your fancy one, so here’s this one for now,” he’d said.

I couldn’t contain my grin because it wassoogirly and covered in glitter. I loved it. It wasn’t like the bougie one I had, but this one was special.

“That was a shitty move!” I yelled at Gideon as he went for one of Ren’s ribs. I turned to Ren. “Are you okay, babe?”

I said the words so casually, not even thinking about them, but Ren did. He noticed them because his head swung my way, and his eyes—his eyes looked like they were glowing. So blue, the ice no longer there. I’d never called him anything other than Ren, Falcon, or dog, but this? He liked it. By the way he was looking at me, he liked it a lot.

“Remember, kids, no fucking.”

I raised my finger and flicked off Gideon. He meant it too, saying Ren needed every advantage, and he couldn’t fuck before the big fight—he needed to build up testosterone and all that jazz. I thought that was just bullshit, but what did I know? Gideon was adamant about it, going so far as to barge into our room in the morning.

The first day he found Ren with his mouth between my legs, his mouth was right there when he pulled him off. And Ren was selfish enough that if he didn’t get any, neither did I. So no sex after the fight.

“Do I have to sleep between you two tonight?”

“Are you trying to jerk my man, G?”

“Probably have to jerk it off you, since he gave you his dick.”

I laughed. I didn’t know why Ren hadn’t killed him. I suspected that he liked him or respected him because Gideon always pushed the boundaries, but you couldn’t help but like the guy. He was so easygoing.

“Okay, again. This time, I won’t go easy.”

And then there were times G was scary as hell too.

---