Page 67 of For Three Seconds

Love was a feeling that sometimes was fleeting or everlasting. More often than not, it came with pain. Two sides of the same coin, and you learned to live with them, making your days better or worse. But God forbid love got yanked from you. That shit burned you, and all that was left were embers glowing with the pain.

These past few days had felt like a dream, but love—could it be love? I could count on my hands the number of weeks we had spent together, but we had what felt like a lifetime of memories. Good, and bad, but they were what defined us.

When the lights turned on, I realized I had been staring absently at the screen. I grabbed my stuff and Gavin’s keys and walked out. Neither of us were thinking straight because I sure as shit didn’t know how to drive his car. I walked up to it and made sure it was locked before I called for a ride.

I sat on a bench outside the movie theatre plaza replaying the way he’d told me he loved me. It just slipped out. No agenda, no other motivation than to just let me know how he felt. At least it kept me from thinking about my nightmares that had started to come more frequently. Always the same thing—me in the car, the smell of gasoline heavy in the air. By the time Nick pulled up, it was already dark.

“Took you long enough,” I huffed.

“Where’s your car?” Nick asked as soon as I came in.

“Home.”

My brother looked at me and then to the building.

“Did someone try to get fresh with you?”

I threw my head back and laughed. “Please, don’t try to be hip.”

“Well, were you on a date? Out with friends?” Nick sounded so hopeful.

I guessed I never went out. For one, I had no friends, and two, I lacked the energy to do things.

“I was on a date,” I said, knowing I was going to have to tell Nick about Gav eventually. “He had an emergency, and I wanted to finish watching the movie, so I called you instead.”

Nick seemed to process everything I’d just said. He just kept driving; then, at a light, he turned to look at me.

“I’m glad you’re going out more.”

I gave him a small nod.

The rest of the ride was in silence, right up until the house came into view, before my brother ruined my perfect little bubble.

“Scar.” His voice was hesitant, and that wasn’t a good sign. My brother wasn’t scared of anything. He was my hero.

“Yeah?” I asked nervously.

He’d somehow had found out about the nightmares, and he was going to make me go to a wellness center. Dread filled my stomach at the sight of not seeing Gavin again.

“A couple of days ago, Gigi came up to me.”

My stomach dropped, and I wanted to throw up. I forced myself to stay still because my brother didn’t know the whole story unless Gigi had told him.

“Yeah?” I heard myself say.

“She asked me for your number, said she regrets losing touch with you.”

Once my brother parked in my driveway, I absently nodded at him. “Cool. I have lots of homework to do.”

I walked up to my driveway, trying to leave all my problems behind, but they didn’t stay. Instead, I focused on Gavin and hoped he was okay. He seemed pretty shaken up, and I realized I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to be to him what he was to me. The person who made the world stop spinning.

* * *

Fear and adrenalinecoursed through my veins. They washed over me like rain. I felt them all over my body, and I couldn’t move.

“Baby, please.” I looked at my mother’s scared gaze, and a part of me knew—knew this was it.

I was so scared, I couldn’t talk.

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