Page 41 of For Three Seconds

“Yeah, sorry, wasn’t expecting you,” I told her.

“I didn’t expect to end up here,” she added.

My mouth was shut because I knew anything that came out of my mouth right now would be vile and wrong.

“Remember how much I cried when my dad cheated on my mom?” she said, and my stomach dropped.

I looked up and I could see it all over her face. She knew.

“Out of all the guys in school, why did you have to have him?” She let out a sob.

I started to cry. “I’m sorry.”

There wasn’t anything I could say at this moment that would make it better.

“We got into an argument yesterday, and you slept with him! You whore.”

By the time I snapped out of it, I was at my place. I didn’t feel like going anywhere anymore. I wanted to stay home and wallow.

* * *

Wallowing didn’t happenwhen you promised Delia you were going to do something. The girls got home to shower and change. When Delia found me in the room, still in my school clothes and looking at the ceiling, she made me get up. And by made, I mean she threw water at my face.

Now here I was in a little black dress with my waves full volume and my eyeliner so sharp it could stab. As we parked across the street from Kappa Nu, my hands got clammy.

Seeing Gavin gave me a thrill. Sure it was mixed with regret, fear, and pain, but it was more than I had felt in a while. It was somewhat addicting.

We didn’t go through the front door like last time; instead, this time, I followed the girls through the dark path that led to the backyard. Music was thumping loudly. When Kenny opened the back door, the party was in full swing. Twinkling lights were all around the yard, creating a soothing ambiance: dark, yet light enough to see through. There was a pong table and kegs. My eyes scanned everywhere, and I realized I was looking for him.

“The guys aren’t here yet,” Delia shouted.

“You’re looking for Ollie?” Kenny hit her shoulder playfully.

Delia blushed, which only intrigued me because they were so different from each other. That was the thing about attraction: it had no rules, no guidelines. It just led you. The girls went and got drinks before handing one to me.

I wasn’t the same girl I was the night my parents died. I needed something stronger to get me through this encounter.

Liquid courage. That was what alcohol provided, and the words had never rung truer. It allowed you to do what you always wanted and gave you a cheap excuse for blame.

Cheers started to ring out amongst the partygoers, and I snapped my head up to see the guys walking in. My eyes ignored everyone who was there and locked on Gavin. He was the third to walk in, with a lazy swagger he had mastered in high school that only seemed to be more appealing with age. His hair seemed messy, his jaw was scruffy, and he looked content. Not bursting with happiness like his teammates—he just was.

That feeling was one I was all too familiar with.

I shouldn’t have come.

When he walked inside the house, I let out a relieved breath while my shoulders slumped. Sometimes I began to think I was going insane. The party went on, and people kept going between the house and the backyard. Audrey stayed by my side, drinking and talking to me and whoever walked up to her.

“Come on, let’s go in. The guys agreed to play a game!” Delia shouted.

She led Audrey inside the house while Audrey held on to my hand so that I would follow. We went down to the basement, where it was a lot darker.

“Don’t be a pussy, and spin,” I heard someone shout.

When we got to the bottom, Audrey and Kenny stopped, and I went to stand beside them. Everyone erupted in catcalls. I looked to the front of the room to see what was so interesting when I noticed people were looking at me. My eyes found Gavin’s in a second, and he looked pissed.

Fifteen

“Spin again.”Gavin’s voice was harsh, causing me to break out in shivers.

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