Page 51 of For Three Seconds

I didn’t answer his stupid question and instead took a second to gather myself when everything I tried not to think about came at me like a wrecking ball.

“Let me go,” I said, feeling drained.

He didn’t let me go; he just kept holding me, and it was pissing me off. Like, what was wrong with him? He seemed to run hotter than hell one minute and Antarctica cold the next.

“Why are you walking in the dark? That’s reckless.”

“Because my car is all the way by the science building, I’ve been at school pretty much all day, I’m tired, and I’m hungry. Now let me go!”

“Why the fuck would you do that? It’s not safe,” he growled.

“You don’t say,” I mocked when he started walking us toward my car, not letting me go. “Do you plan on letting me walk?”

“You are walking,” he replied, ever so calmly.

I was anything but calm at the moment, but I walked. It took longer to get to my car than it would have taken us if he would have let me go. Gavin was pressed so close to me I could feel the steady thumping of his heart. He seemed at peace, while there was a storm brewing within me.

I didn’t understand him, and I think I wanted to because if I did, that would mean there was change coming. I guess I wanted to go back to that day in sixth grade—and maybe everything would have been different. Just maybe that choice would have prevented so much tragedy.

My car was one of the last ones in the lot. I told myself I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t stupid, and it was just survival.

“You can let me go now,” I said when we were by the door.

“You’re going to run away when I do,” he mumbled against my neck, and I felt those damn butterflies. He always made me feel alive with any scrap of attention he decided to give me.

I was angry and hungry, and my body was as crazy as my mind because it loved the feel of Gavin pressed against me. This time when I went to pull away, he let me go.

“Go ahead and run away,” Gavin mocked.

That pissed me the fuck off, and I turned around to face him. He was standing a few feet away from me, with hunger in his eyes.

“You came to my house, had sex with me, then you fuckingthanked meand bailed,” I spat at him.

He at least had the decency to look remorseful.

“How do you think that made me feel?”

“Fuck,” he muttered, taking a step closer. “What was I supposed to do? Stay there until you kicked me out? Every time I gain an inch with you, Scar, you put a fucking mile between us.”

He looked almost angry, but I wasn’t scared. Never of him.

“You want to know why I left?”

I stayed quiet, but that didn’t stop him.

“Being with you, it was the best I ever had. As a matter of fact,everythingI’ve done with you is the best I ever fucking had, but you don’t fucking feel it. You run away from your feelings. You run away fromme. I came to you after prom. I fucking came with your favorite coffee and breakfast only to find the bed fucking empty, and then you left town too. Don’t you get fucking tired of running, Scar?”

I felt cold, but there were no shivers in my arms. Breathing was getting harder, and my head felt loud. I couldn’t think properly. Everything was unraveling too fast. I needed peace. I needed to feel okay and safe. So I did the only thing that always made me feel grounded.

On the first second, I took a step toward where Gavin stood still looking pissed. On the second, I pulled him down toward me, and on the third, I kissed him. I told him with my lips everything I couldn’t say with words. Gavin groaned against my mouth while his hand went to my waist and fused me to him.

“You drive me fucking crazy,” he rasped against my lips.

I closed my eyes tightly, the rush from earlier leaving my body. I pulled back from Gav, not meeting his eyes.

“I need to go,” I whispered.

“Go and run away,” he said before he turned around and walked away.

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