Page 85 of The Court of Truth

It’s the entire reason I find myself in here. After Brody blurted the blood magic connection to Raiden, my vampire turned to stone. His words were clipped, his emotions bottled up, and his body stiff.

Nothing at all like I expected him to be.

There was no rage, no pent-up anger, just acceptance. Not that he truly was the one linked to the frenzied vampires, but that he knew who was.

He told me to head back to the castle with everyone else, promising that he and Brody would sort it out. I wanted to say no, I wanted to demand I be present, but there was something in his eyes telling me he needed to do this himself. So I swallowed my pride, and my ego along with it, and came home. As soon as Nora got settled in her room, with my father keeping a watchful eye over her, I wandered down here, and I’ve been staring at the kingdom carved into the wooden table ever since, waiting for the right answer to pop out at me.

“I’m sure they won’t be much longer,” Kryll murmurs, rounding the table to come to a stop at my side. He strokes his hand down my spine, comfort zapping through our bond as I hum.

“I’m sure, I just hate not being completely in the know. But to distract myself, I’ve ended up getting lost in my head.”

“How so?”

Standing tall, I shake my hands at my sides before I turn to look at him properly. “I’ve got the slightest inkling of an idea coming to mind, a plan that could make all the difference, but it’s like I’m trying to put it together without the right pieces,” I explain, probably making no sense, but he nods all the same.

“Like you’re taking all of the snippets of information you’ve got and you’re trying to put them in the right order,” he offers, and I nod eagerly, turning my attention back to the wooden carving.

“Exactly like that. If what Raiden says is true, the frenzied vampires should hopefully not be an issue for much longer. We’re starting to learn the weaknesses of our enemies in a way that they could be impactful, but it’s the execution of it all that needs my focus.”

“Maybe you need to take a break, reconvene in a little while with a fresh perspective. I would offer to take you for a walk through the grounds, but the last time we did that it didn’t bode too well for us,” he muses, tucking a loose tendril of hair behind my ear as I smirk at him.

That’s an understatement and we both know it. “I agree. I think we’ve got enough on our plate already. Staying here sounds like a safer bet.”

“Have you eaten? We could head for a late night snack,” he offers, and I shake my head.

“I’m not hungry. After Janie insisted on feeding us all before we left, I can’t even imagine eating right now.”

“It was some damn good steak, though,” he says with a sigh, and I grin.

“I feel like that’s where this all began,” I muse, my gaze unfocusing as I think back to the first time I stepped into Janie’s restaurant.

“What do you mean?”

“Brody took me to Janie’s on a date because he wanted a steak. That, in turn, pissed Cassian off and led to the three of you interrupting our meal. I managed to slip outside, but you stopped me from getting lost among the trees, only for me to find myself caught in the first duel of many.”

“Damn. That was one hectic night if you ask me.” His hands find my shoulders, squeezing in comfort as I remember the feel of his body pressed against mine that night.

“It feels like someone hit the accelerator that night and they haven’t taken their foot off the pedal since,” I agree as he works his thumbs into my tight muscles, trying to ease the knots.

“If you were standing in front of that version of yourself right now, what would you say to her?” he asks, and I frown at him.

“Why? Am I not that same girl anymore?”

He shakes his head. “Not entirely, no.”

I hum, thinking on his words as I replay everything we’ve been through in such a short span of time, slowly realizing that he’s right. I am that same girl, but I’m not. A lot has changed. Not just around me, but within me as well. “Honestly, I would tell her to trust the process. That even though there may be four insane men staking a claim in your life, it will be worth it. Even when you don’t want it. There’s no point delaying the inevitable when it turns out to be more than you could ever fathom.”

I feel the curl of his lips against my neck as he presses soft kisses across my skin.

“And what would she say to you if she was standing here now?”

I scoff, my eyelids falling closed as I think. “She would tell me to fuck staying calm and collected. She would tell me to fuck the traditions that come with being royal. More than that, she would tell me to take action, by any means necessary. Whatever it takes to protect those she loves and the kingdom.”

“That’s because you’re fierce, resilient, and relentless. What would protecting the kingdom look like to her? What actions would she take?”

I gulp as his hands skim down my sides, his fingers flexing at my waist as his lips continue to brush over my flesh, leaving goosebumps in his wake. His touch fuels the adrenaline coursing through my veins as I swipe my tongue over my lips and try to think about his question.

“She would fight to the very end. No question about it. She wouldn’t be holed up in here waiting for someone else to keep making the first move. I’ve never been one to act defensively. Not really. I’ve always preferred to strike first.” My monologue swiftly changes fromshetoI, making me realize that the way I describe my younger self is exactly how I want to be described now. “I’m done playing these games. We’re already dealing with the aftermath from The Council, the last thing our people need is the carnage this woman is bringing too. We deserve to feel hope, we deserve to thrive, and we deserve to be united.”

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