Page 16 of Wild Dreams

"I have to ask every time in case you change your mind." As we waited for the line to move, I couldn't help but think how nice it was to be here with Marigold and Joey. Almost like we were a unit, a family. I shook my head. Why was I thinking about a family when it wasn't something I wanted?

It was Eli's fault. He'd messed up my equilibrium by planning to settle down with my sister. They talked about the future, and they seemed happy.

I could be content living on my own and working. It was an important job, and I had to give it my focus. I couldn't have a family of my own. I'd seen what my mom went through. I wouldn't subject another woman to that. No matter how much I was starting to think I wanted Marigold.

She'd need a man who worked a nine-to-five in an office setting and came home to help cook her dinner. Not someone who worked shift work. It wasn't fair to her.

She was too good of a woman for me.

5

MARIGOLD

Chance paid for our food, and I helped carry everything to a nearby picnic table, where we joined another family.

Chance nodded at the father, Don, and said, "How are you enjoying the festival?"

Don nodded. "It's a beautiful day for it."

Chance shifted his attention to the kids. "How about you guys? Having fun?"

The little girl, Abigail, said, "We're going to get cotton candy after we eat lunch."

Chance winked at her. "You have to save dessert for later, right?"

Everyone laughed, and then we turned our attention to our food.

Chance helped Joey get the barbecue sauce for his chicken. He was sweet and patient with him.

I wondered why Chance felt like he had to be in uniform at town events. That he could never just be himself. "You ever attend community events as yourself?"

He blinked at me before dunking a fry in ketchup. "What do you mean?"

I waved a hand. "You know, wear plain clothes. Not always be Sheriff St. Claire."

He shifted on the bench. "Not really. It just makes more sense to have police presence at an event like this."

"You don't think they'd appreciate seeing you in street clothes every once in a while, just being a regular person?" I asked him, watching his expression carefully.

"People want to feel safe."

"You don't think the other deputies working the event accomplish that?" I wanted to know what was going on in Chance's head, but I was distracted by Joey sitting next to him. They looked like father and son. They had the same messy brown hair and blue eyes. My heart contracted at the idea of raising a boy with Chance. He'd be an amazing father, but would he ever let himself have a family for himself?

Chance's shoulders were rigid. "It's not the same thing as being the sheriff. It's a big responsibility."

"He's the boss," Joey said.

I smiled at him. "You're right. He is. But it's important for the boss to take breaks sometimes too. When you rest, you come back feeling more refreshed."

"That's what my teacher says about the weekends. We're supposed to relax and come back bright-eyed on Mondays."

We all chuckled at his recitation of his teacher's voice. Joey was adorable, and I loved that Chance got to play uncle. I just wished he had more opportunities like this one to be himself. To be an uncle, a brother, or even a boyfriend or father.

"Your dad was married and had you and Scarlett. So it must be possible to have a family."

Chance's eyes shuttered. "Trust me; it wasn't easy."

I frowned and thought back to my memories of staying over at the St. Claires. Dinner was always on the table at six. We never waited for Bart because he never knew when he'd behome. But Pam hadn't seemed upset about it, had she? I couldn't remember. It was just so different from my family. The home was so full of love. If there were bad feelings, I didn't notice. Maybe Chance saw something different.

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