Page 90 of Cruel Promise

Deep down, I do. It’s attraction. It’s an undeniable connection between us.

He cups my face. I hate myself for leaning into his touch. “I’m struggling to control it, too,” he admits.

“Why did you push me away? And don’t say it’s for my own protection.”

As soon as he opens a fraction, he shuts down even more. He lowers his hand and backs away.

“I heard you,” I blurt out before he can leave. I’m desperate for him to stay. He tenses, but I continue before I can lose my nerve. “That night. I heard the sounds you were making. The cries. The sounds of pain. I know you’re not some invincible man. I know you feel things, Nikolai. Why don’t you show them to me?”

“You were listening to me?”

“Yes. And don’t judge me for it. You’ve done worse to me.”

“That was a private moment,” he growls, completely ignoring what I just said. “You had no right.”

“I had every right. I just saved your life.”

“And I thanked you for it.”

“That makes everything all right?”

He runs a hand down his face. “What do you want from me?” he shouts, the sound echoing throughout the poolroom.

“I want a husband!” I shout back. “If I’m going to accept this life, then I need you to meet me halfway. Otherwise, I never should have saved you.”

“You did, though. You regret it?”

“I’m starting to.”

Just slightly, he flinches. “You can’t take it back now. You’re stuck with me.”

“It seems that way.”

He motions aggressively at the pool. “Be careful next time. I might not be here to save you from drowning.”

“I know how to swim!”

“You don’t know anything,” he says in a biting tone.

The moment he’s gone, I break down into tears. They mix with the water on my face until I can’t tell them apart.

I never should have saved Nikolai.

I do regret my choice.

Dinner between Nikolai and me is tense.

I wasn’t even going to show up, but I didn’t want him storming into my room and dragging me to the table. I figured it would be easier to get it over with now, and then I don’t have to see him for the rest of the night.

Claude makes matter worse when he mutters about how I’m barely eating anything again. “I made this entire roast for tonight. At least eat some of it.”

“I’m not hungry,” I say, pushing my plate away.

“Eat,” Nikolai growls. “Claude spent hours making this. Show him some respect.”

I give Nikolai a hard stare. “I’m sorry, Claude. I’m just not hungry. You can blame it on Nikolai.”

Claude flaps his hands down by his sides in frustration and storms out of the dining room.

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