Page 86 of Cruel Promise

But Ava is starting to. It makes me angry and elated and aroused, but it also makes me want to grab her and kiss her like I’d die without her.

The moment Ava and I shared last night was the closest we’ve ever gotten. For once, I could see her look at me with softness instead of anger or pain.

But we can’t let that happen again. I cannot allow myself to trust someone else and risk them breaking me like Anton did. While Ava would never physically hurt me the way Anton did, she does have another weapon up her sleeve Anton never had—one to my heart.

Fuck, I’m turning into a pathetic loser.

I rip all the bandages off me, get into a hot shower, and let the steam sting away my feelings.

There’s no space in my life for feelings. They’re just wasted mental space.

AVA

“I’ll admit,” Claude says, setting a plate of French toast and scrambled eggs before me, “you were pretty brave to save Mr. Petrov the way you did.”

“Was that a compliment, Claude?”

He immediately scowls. “No. Now, eat your breakfast.”

For once, I eat every bite.

I feel good after saving Nikolai.Idid that, and that’s something I can be proud of. I’m starting to take back my power.

“She was brave,” Mrs. Brown says as she enters the room. “I never could have done what Ava did. You should be proud of her.”

Claude grumbles under his breath and goes back to cutting up strawberries for a cake he’s making. I tried asking him about it, and he just told me to mind my own business.

“I’m glad you made it home safely,” Mrs. Brown says, laying her hand on my arm. Instead of pulling away, I lean into her touch. It reminds me of my mom’s touch. That thought almost makes me cry into my scrambled eggs.

“I am, too,” Nikolai says.

The three of us turn to him as he stands in the kitchen doorway. He has a shirt on so I can’t see his wounds, but I can tell from the way he’s moving that he’s trying to be careful. My once powerful husband. I don’t like seeing him hurt, but at the same time, it puts us on a more even playing field.

“How are you feeling?” Mrs. Brown asks.

“I’m fine,” he growls. “Don’t ask me again.” He pours himself a cup of coffee.

She shuts her mouth and hurries out of the room.

“She was just asking,” I say.

Nikolai stares at me over his cup. “She was being nosy.”

“You were hurt. She works for you. Of course she’d want to know if you’re all right.”

“You’re defending my staff now? I thought you didn’t like anyone here.”

I flush. “I never said that.”

“I could just tell from how you acted around everyone when you first came here.”

“Sometimes it just takes me a while to warm up to people.”

“People like me?”

“Yes.” The word is out before I can stop it.

Nikolai looks pleased with himself as he takes a sip. I stand up and hand my empty plate to Claude, who looks at me with confusion.