Page 20 of Cruel Promise

The worst part of it all—she has a point.

This would be easier if I could just give in to Nikolai.

But I can’t do that, and there’s no use pretending I ever could.

Edmund brings me to the church to be married.

Just this morning, I was choosing my wedding dress, and now, I’m getting married.

I stare at the church, an older, Gothic cathedral, which would have been pretty if not for the circumstances. Instead, the church reminds me of a gaudy prison.

Edmund gets out and opens the car door for me, but I don’t move. My body is stuck to the chair like glue. Moving me from it would only hurt me.

“You have to get out of the car,” Edmund says gently.

“No.”

He glances at the church nervously and back to me. “Please, Ava. You have to get out. Mr. Petrov is waiting for you. He won’t be happy if you don’t show.”

So far, other than buying me, Nikolai hasn’t done anything to hurt me. No physical abuse. No mental abuse. The one who truly hurt me was my father when he gave me to Nikolai.

But that doesn’t mean I trust Nikolai not to hurt me later on.

Once I get out of this car, nothing will ever go back to the way it was. It can’t. My mom is dead, and there’s no changing that.

Nikolai is my life now because he’s made it that way.

I step out of the car without taking Edmund’s offered hand. If I’m going to do this, then I’m going to retain the tiniest bit of independence.

We walk into the church, and there, at the end of the aisle, is Nikolai with a priest next to him. There’s no one else around.

It dawns on me—my mom won’t see me get married.

I let out a soft sob that echoes through the church. From this distance, I can see Nikolai’s eyes narrow. Is he angry with me for being upset? Or confused?

I don’t know how to read him because he’s a stranger to me.

Edmund gently takes my arm and helps me walk down the aisle. There’s no music. No happy, smiling guests. There’s only Nikolai and me and the loss of my own agency.

Nikolai takes my hand without asking for it. His touch is strong and firm yet not painful.

“Shall we begin?” the priest asks.

“Yes,” Nikolai responds without taking his eyes off me. I can barely look at him. It’s not the scar across his face. It’s his eyes. They’re piercing like they can see right into me. He makes me feel like I have secrets, but I don’t have any. I was just an innocent girl before all this.

Nikolai is a man with secrets. You don’t become someone like him without them. But I’ll never ask what his secrets are because to ask implies intimacy, and I can never imagine becoming intimate with him.

The priest spouts off the vows, and I barely listen. I’m too preoccupied by Nikolai’s presence. He commands it. I doubt he’s ever ignored when he walks into a room.

And now, he’ll be my husband.

Does his power make me powerful, too? It doesn’t feel like it. Not one bit.

“Do you, Nikolai Petrov, take Ava Roberts, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

I startle at my full name. No one has said it since I was brought to Nikolai.

“I do,” he responds in a clear voice, staring right into my eyes. His grip on my hands tightens.

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