Page 131 of Cruel Promise

Eighteen

NIKOLAI

Ican see the hope on Ava’s face. She wants her mother to be alive, but she also hopes I’m not lying to her.

But I have been lying to her.

When I got the call from Dimitri that he had Ava, my heart had stopped. I knew I couldn’t lose her, and I was willing to lay my life down for her back in the club.

Because of that, I can’t keep this from her. She deserves the full truth even if that means she’ll leave me.

“Is my mom alive?” Ava asks again.

I look her right in the eye. “Yes.”

She sucks in a quick breath and backs away from me. It’s that tiny, small step that says everything. Already, it’s created a cavern between us. “She’s alive? Really?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know where she’s been this whole time. But I found her over a week ago.”

“Wait. You’ve known for a while, and you didn’t tell me.”

“Yes.”

“Nikolai, why?”

“Because I knew that the minute you found out your mom was alive, you’d want to live with her again. I knew you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. It’s pathetic. I know it is.”

“You kept this from me,” she whispers. A slow horror starts to form in her eyes, and it breaks my fucking heart. This is it—the moment she sees me for the true monster I am.

“I did.”

She gasps and turns away from me, her shoulders shaking. “You didn’t want me to leave you by not telling me about my mom.” After a long moment, she faces me again. “But the thing is, Nikolai, if you’d just told me when you found out she was alive, I would’ve been grateful. I’d have stayed with you because I’ve fallen in …” She trails off.

My heart constricts at her words. There’s no way she could mean them. No one has ever loved me.

“But the irony is,” she continues, “that by lying to me, you’ve made it a self-fulfilling prophecy. I can’t stay with you because of that reason. I’m going to return to my mom because I at least know she’s the one person on this entire planet I can trust completely.”

I nod and don’t put up a fight. The old me would have. The old me would have thrown Ava into a locked room and never let her out.

But I can’t do that to her. Because I love her.

I have to let her go.

“Do you really mean that?” I ask. “If I’d just told you about your mom right away, you would have wanted to stay with me?”

“Yes.” She doesn’t say more, and she doesn’t need to. “Where is she?”

I let out a long sigh. “I’ll take you to her.”

“No. I want to go by myself. Just tell me where she is.”

“She’s in the city. I’ll give you the address.”

“Good.” Tears form in her eyes and spill down her cheeks. The sight of them breaks my pathetic heart even more. “Goodbye, Nik.”

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