Page 126 of Cruel Promise

“Don’t say it, Ava. I don’t need to hear it from you, too.”

“But I thought you were trying to make peace. That’s why you went to Maxim.”

“I did try!” he shouts, making me flinch and step away from him. “You don’t know Bratva men, Ava. They’re not easy men to make peace with.”

“I think I know Bratva men very well.”

He goes still then slumps against the counter. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m sorry.”

“You’re hurt and disappointed your plan didn’t go how you wanted it to go. Just don’t yell at me again.”

He nods but doesn’t look at me as I take out the first-aid kit and start cleaning his wound. “The bullet is still inside.” He grabs pliers out of another drawer. “Here.”

“I … I’ve never done that. I wouldn’t even know how.”

“I’ll walk you through it. Fortunately, the bullet is in my upper arm, so it should be easy to get out.”

With shaky hands, I push the pliers into his wound. Nik grabs the counter, wincing. I stop. “Are you?—”

“Keep going,” he grits out.

“Ok.” I push the pliers back in, watching his reaction—which is surprisingly calm for everything that has happened—and dig around. I feel the bullet against the pliers and pull it out. “There.”

“See? You did good. You didn’t even need me to talk you through it.”

“What do I do with this?” I hold the bullet up.

He nods at the sink. “In there.” The bullet clatters against the porcelain once I let it go. “I’ll need you to bandage my arm again.”

“You’re really going to need to see a doctor for this, you know. Especially if you keep hurting your arm.”

“I’ll be fine,” he says. “Damn it. I tried, Ava. I really did. But Dimitri’s not going to go down without a fight. I’ll have to kill him.”

“That’s the only option?” I ask, feeling my stomach drop to my toes. Nothing about this feels right. I want the bloodshed to end. I want to live in a world I don’t have to fear any longer.

“Why do you care if I kill Dimitri or not? You don’t like him.”

“I know. But it’s not for Dimitri I worry. It’s for you, Nik.”

He sucks in a sharp breath. “You worry for me?”

“I do,” I admit, keeping my eyes glued to his arm as I slide the bandage over his wound. “I probably shouldn’t, but I do.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

I drop my hands by my sides and look him in the eye. “Then tell me. Tell me one thing about you that you feel like I should know.”

He opens his mouth then closes it and drops his head. He remains bent over the counter for a long time. I don’t push him. He’ll give me an answer. I deserve that much. “If I let myself, I could love you.”

My body goes still. I wasn’t sure what I expected, it but it wasn’t that. “Then why don’t you let yourself?”

“I’m afraid you’ll leave me. That’s the honest truth, Ava. I’m afraid you’ll never love me and you’ll leave me and I’ll remain in this entire fucking house all alone.”

“Edmund and Mrs. Brown and?—”

“They’re just the staff.” He looks me right in the eye. “They’re not you, and they’ll never be you.”

“Why are you afraid?” I whisper.

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