Page 63 of Ask Your Mom If I'm Real

“Ready, go!” Calliope called out.

I went about as well as a baby giraffe could on skates and found myself in the back of the pack like always.

Eliska hung back and aimed for my body but armed with everything that the two men had just shared with me, I managed to thwart her and drop her onto the floor.

I left her ass skidding on the wood floor behind me and kept skating.

The next girl that came after me suffered the same fate.

And the next.

And the next.

I skated about as fast as I could without dying and found myself next to Gisela.

“If you hit me in any way, I will tell your grandfather that you want a car for Christmas,” I snarled.

Gisela gasped. “You wouldn’t.”

“I will if you make me,” I bluffed.

I wouldn’t tell him that.

But if I did, he’d buy her one.

And it’d probably be so expensive that she couldn’t see straight while sitting inside of it.

Gisela was rich, whether she wanted to be or not.

Her grandfather was a multimillionaire, and she’d spent her entire life being fed by a silver spoon. When she moved out at eighteen and started college, moving in with her roommates, she’d tried to distance herself from her family’s money and notoriety.

But still her grandfather liked to buy her gifts.

And since Gisela wasn’t a complete dick, she felt obligated to accept gifts.

Though a car wasn’t one she’d accepted yet.

She would have to if it was a gift, though.

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll just drop and give you all the glory.”

She acted like she was going to come after me, but purposefully fell a little too far backward.

I skated around and smiled, only to realize that the girls that I’d knocked down got up, and they were aiming right for me.

“Oh, fuck.”

Chapter

Four

Apparently it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and say “skip intro.”

—Jeremiah’s secret thoughts

JEREMIAH

“She’s about to get clobbered.”

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