Page 32 of Ask Your Mom If I'm Real

I looked down at my feet. “I’m scared, Dix.”

Dixie’s arms wrapped around me like he knew just by holding me, I would be okay.

And normally, that would be a true assumption.

But this time, I didn’t think everything was going to be okay.

I had a sick feeling in the pit of my belly that was telling me that everything wasn’t going to be okay this time.

It was going to go very, very badly.

Chapter

Eighteen

All I want for Christmas is to whip out your balls, jingle your chimney, ride you like a reindeer, and earn a spot on the naughty list.

—Mary to Dixie

DIXIE

Past

The move took less than a week.

From the moment we started looking for a new place, to the moment we sold our old one, was less than six days.

The six-hour road trip from Tuscaloosa to Benton, Louisiana with a lifetime’s worth of stuff took us roughly eight hours. But it took a whole lot less than it could have had the Dixie Wardens not been there to help pack, drive, and move.

The ladies from the Tuscaloosa chapter had helped us pack up. Both chapters had helped us move. And the ladies from the Benton, Louisiana chapter had helped us unpack.

All in all, the house was perfect.

Except, apparently, for one thing.

“This kitchen is atrocious. And where am I gonna store these jars when I start cooking dinner?” she teased.

I looked at said jars, then looked at my wife. “We’re gonna go out to eat.”

She giggled. “The doctor said you had to start eating better.”

I gave her a droll look. “Let me ask you something, Mary.”

Mary gave me her full attention, setting down the jar rings as she did.

“Do you honestly think that I’m going to make it much past when you’re not here anymore?” I asked.

Her mouth dropped open. “Of course you are!”

I was already shaking my head. “I don’t want to be here without you, Mary.”

She fisted my shirt and yanked me toward her, her eyes spitting fire. “You will stay here. You have children that need you. You have grandbabies that are going to need you. Great-great-grandchildren to look forward to. You will stay here, and you will fucking like it, and you’ll do it because that’s what I want!”

I couldn’t help the smile that kicked up at the corner of my mouth.

“Will I?” I asked.

She poked me in the chest with a pointy finger.

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