Page 124 of Ask Your Mom If I'm Real

“Hey, who opened my gag gift for Chris!” Noel called out, picking up the box of condoms that she’d gotten for Chris.

I’d left them on the floor next to the bed.

I’d had no clue that they were going to be found, though, since they’d fallen between the nightstand and the bed.

She looked over at Chris while Merriam and I looked at each other.

“Wasn’t me,” Chris said.

They all looked to me as Kyle, Noel’s husband, said, “Did you see that they were the gag ones? I thought they were hilarious with their already poked holes. You can practically see through them, according to the box. But I thought you’d get a giggle out of the fact that they tasted like Kool-Aid flavors.”

My stomach sank.

“What?” I asked.

“They’re gag ones from Spencer’s,” Kyle continued, not realizing what he’d just said.

Merriam swallowed hard as everyone started to laugh.

Everyone but the kids who had no clue what we were talking about, Merriam…and me.

I opened my mouth, then closed it, then started to laugh.

Merriam covered her face with her hand, dropped her head, and yep. She was totally laughing, too.

What the hell were the chances?

And what else could I do but laugh?

Merriam was still laughing when she tore into her next gift.

Her mouth fell open upon what she saw.

“What is this?” I asked as I looked at the photo.

“This is a canning cookbook,” my sister said. “I just thought it was super cool because you could make all these recipes with banana bread, apple sauce, and all kinds of other things.”

I looked at Merriam, who was looking at me with wide eyes.

This was super weird.

First my photo from Chris that was of a man and a woman on a motorcycle, and now this.

It was like the universe was sending us all kinds of signs.

Chapter

Sixteen

I love my man so much I wish he was a seahorse so I could get him pregnant.

—Merriam’s secret thoughts

MERRIAM

I woke up in his arms again.

This time, though, it was with a toddler smushed in between us.

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