Page 58 of Consume Me

It’s no surprise that I can’t sleep, warring with my demons until they win, leaving me desolate––a barren wasteland where no life can blossom.

The sun breaks through the sky, shy and tentative until it remembers its innate power and reigns supreme, even on a winter day, melting the thin layer of snow. It reminds me of her.

Mia stirs awake, and I pretend to sleep, curious about what she will do.

She kisses my cheek, then my lips. “I know you aren’t sleep.”

I open one eye, and she raises a brow. For a moment, I forget everything else. She calls me out on my bullshit like no one else.

“You got what you wanted,” I say, cutting whatever this is at the roots.

“At least now I know where I stand. Thank you for making it clear.”

Misery with a heap of sorrow buries me under. I think of the dagger in my nightstand. I want her to take it and plunge it into my chest. But she wouldn’t do it, proving she’s too good for me once again.

She hops off the bed, biting down a hiss. It takes everything in me to stay rooted in place.

She dresses quickly, and her silence is the worst form of punishment—one I truly deserve. In moments like this, I wish I could get drunk and forget about my problems.

She doesn’t look at me as she peeks outside and tiptoes down the hallway.

I stand up, needing to see for myself that she gets inside her room safely.

Kaden opens the door to his room, seeing Mia slipping into hers, and then he automatically looks at me with a knowing look.

I groan, slamming my forehead against the doorframe.

“Let’s go downstairs,” he says.

I follow him into the kitchen, and he moves to the coffee machine, preparing two cups.

We both take a seat, and I say, “Go ahead, say what you have to say.”

“Asshole, this was a long time coming. You’re the only one surprised.”

“She deserves better. I am fucked up, Kaden, and I mean that.”

He jumps up, drags me by my elbow, and slams me into the wall. “Tell me how fucked up you are. Let me prove to you that nothing will change. Let me, for once, share your fucking demons.”

First, last night with Mia, now him. Before I know it, my mouth opens, expelling the truth that has weighed me down. “My father experimented on me,” I say so low as if not to awaken the ghosts of my past that have haunted me. But once the wordsare out, relief floods me. After years of carrying this burden alone, sharing it with my best friend is liberating.

Kaden pushes a hand through his hair, letting out a string of curses. It feels good to know that he’s enraged on my behalf.

“Give me more so I know what I am working with.”

“Alcohol. That was his first one because he said no addiction allowed. I could drink the entire shelf and not get drunk.”

“You pretended good, you asshole.”

“I’m nothing if not adaptable. I also don’t feel pain, and I don’t need to sleep longer than two, three hours.”

“You did that for us, huh?”

“I had to protect you and buy some time by any means necessary.”

He places his hands on my shoulders. “I swear they will pay for this.”

Nothing could give me back what I’ve lost. Something in me was completely altered by my father’s actions, turning me into nothing more than a puppet on a string.

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