Page 45 of Consume Me

“It wasn’t like that. Whenever my father summoned me to the laboratory, it was to learn from him—the best. I had little contact with Felix. Do you think I would still be here if I knew potential locations?”

“Knowing you, no.”

We both stiffen at the reminder that he and I have trusted each other all our lives. Regardless of what happened between us, it’s impossible to just forget that we’ve had each other’s back since we could barely walk and talk. We have been an integral part of each other’s lives, sharing a bond that no secret, no betrayal could break.

“You still owe me an honest answer, though.”

“I don’t owe you shit.”

“Tell me what they had you do. I haven’t forgotten what you said about me not having any fucking idea of what you did to keep us safe.”

Fuck his memory, and fuck my emotions getting the better of me. But he and Abi looking at me like I was a traitor was like a damn dagger plunged into my chest and exiting my back.

“You want to know what father dearest did to me?”

Fear flashes in his eyes. “I do.”

“Too bad I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I hurt you with my accusation, but put yourself in my position for one fucking second. I feel like our whole brotherhood was one-sided because you never let me see inside of you.”

“No one wants to see inside of me.”

“I fucking do.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “You know what I regret the most? Having the opportunity to kill them. I wanted to end the corruption, thinking everything would be better once they were locked away. But those fuckers found a way out. It’s driving me insane not knowing who helped them.” He looks at me and adds, “Please, trust me. I need you, Blake.”

“Now you do, asking me things as if––”

“I am taking accountability. Do that too, asshole. Our friendship took the hardest dent because of you too. We’re both to blame.”

When he turns to leave, I say, “I would have rather died than betray you. My loyalty to you and our group has never wavered. But I saw things, experienced things…”

“Why not tell me Cassandra was alive?”

“It was her choice. When I saw her the first time, she was a damn shadow of a person. Slowly, I made sure she got on her feet, mentally and physically. Fuck, I already betrayed one matriarch, I wanted to do the right thing this once.”

“You came back for her.”

“I came back because Cassandra thinks this family needs me.”

“This family does need you, but you’re a stubborn asshole.”

“I can’t stay.”

“At least this time I will have prepared myself. Thanks for the heads up. I hope you find what apparently neither of us can give you.”

Redemption.Neither of them can make me see anyone other than a damn killer of an innocent when I look in the mirror. Alone, those dark thoughts swirl in my head, spreading their thick web and strangling the life out of every light.

Putting on sweatpants and a T-shirt, I climb into bed. Opening my laptop, I log into the dark web’s market portal. Thechances of finding something are slim, but someone must know something.

After perusing it for hours and finding nothing, I slam the lid shut.

The moon is high in the sky, and my obsession wins once again. Tiptoeing down the hallway, I let myself into Mia’s room. She’s curled on her side, her palm resting on the pillow in front of her face. So graceful and ethereal, my Silver.

The lamp casts a dim light on her perfect face: perfect symmetry, perfect features, perfect everything. I could gaze at her all my life and not get enough of her.

When I approach the bed, she stiffens. The little liar is not asleep, just ignoring my presence. I hope she keeps doing that so I can preserve this sham of restraint.

I take stock of the shelf near her bed and notice dozens of romance books lined up by color. The darker ones catch my attention. I flick through one, reading the trigger warnings. This sounds like a story I would enjoy. Taking it with me, I plop in the chair by her desk.

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