Page 1 of Consume Me

I’m a killer.

I did what I was supposed to do—keep my friends safe—and that cost me my soul, but it was the only way. My decision to live with. My demons to wrestle with, always taunting me.

But now my friends have the Family on their side.

I can’t stay here a moment longer, pretending it will be fine. Pretending that I am not irrevocably screwed up. Fucking pretending I have a chance at a normal life.

I know what will happen anyway. Grandmother, the matriarch of the Family, is going to die soon. She has proved to be more resilient than any of those fuckers—Caleb Sinclair, my dear father, and Felix Astor, the power-hungry asshole—anticipated. Cassandra Langley will be the matriarch until Kaden Astor takes his rightful place.

There is no place for me at the table anymore, not after what I did.

Inside of me, there is nothing but a dark vacuum. Every decision I made broke off pieces of my heart, leaving behind a black hole.

I gave every piece of myself to protect my friends, yet I wished I had more to offer. It would have been hers—the girl with silver eyes—the only one who stirred something in me.

Just thinking of Mia twists my heart, torn between needing to walk away for her and wanting to stay for her. But I can’t stay. She deserves better—someone I was never destined to be.

She dreams of heroes and an epic love story. I’m made of stitched-together wire, making me bleed my sins––a villain. I don’t want to taint her, even though she has been the temptation that has been the hardest to resist. But I can’t give Mia what she wants. That’s why I have to stay away from her.

Outside, the fall blows a chilly wind, reminding me of the cycle of nature: what blossoms will wither, what lives will die. Leaning back against the concrete front wall of our college house, I stare at the Eagleton College campus, another symbol of the Family’s power. The campus spans thousands of acres, dominated by a solitary, imposing old building resembling a castle. An eagle with spread wings is stamped on the hardwood front door, holding a globe between its claws––the crest of the Family and the symbol of freedom. This is the epitome of irony, considering you could never be free when you’re born into a dynasty.

The Family history began two hundred years ago when the founding families bought land in Delaware. They laid the foundation that led to the creation of an empire. With their seat of power here in Greenville, they became unfathomably richand powerful through marriage alliances and savvy business decisions.

Every generation has its leader, the firstborn, who automatically becomes the ruler of the Family. No one can touch the Family. Their influence and power extend from appointing the mayor to controlling the police and owning most of the state’s resources, including land and wealth. The Family consists of six families: the Astors, the Vosses, the Sinclairs, the Langleys, the Fairchilds, and the Prescotts. Each rules over a key sector of society: finance, real estate, healthcare, retail, telecommunication, and education.

While we thought the Prescotts were long dead, eliminated at the orders of a former patriarch, they had staged their own deaths. The heirs, Mia, her twin brother, Hunter, and their father, Cillian, have returned to take their rightful place.

I watch Kaden step outside. My best friend, my brother, thinks I betrayed him. He will never forgive me for using Celine, but there were power games at play he didn’t know about.

I don’t expect nor want his forgiveness, yet his accusation, and Abigail’s, of me being a traitor stung. But again, their pain over forsaking their loved ones has always made them reactive. The only objective people are Bailey and me from our group of friends. Bailey, the youngest among us, adapts. I, on the other hand, am done pretending to fit in.

My father made me into a machine. I function. I exist. I execute.

Yet, even Caleb Sinclair, one of the greatest scientists in the country, can fail. He couldn’t rid me of having a conscience and a heart. These two sides of me wage a constant war, wreaking havoc inside me.

One of these days, the monster will win. Because if I allow myself to be led by feelings, it would destroy me. There is not enough alcohol in the world to numb that part. And I tried.

There’s madness ruling my Frankenstein brain. Still human but depleted of what makes it one: the ability to feel pain. Yet, like with alcohol, I have tried to overcome what he turned me into, but it was in vain.

I can’t get drunk. I can’t feel pain. I could chop off my limbs and not feel a thing. I could sooner enter an alcoholic coma than get drunk.

Kaden senses me. When he turns my way, there’s a hardness in his blue eyes, and an eerie silence settles between us.

I accept that I ruined our friendship. So be it. While I harbor guilt, all I did was keep his ass alive because my friend is good, loyal, and caring.

We have nothing more to say to each other. He’s going to catch his father and not ask for nor want my help––that’s my punishment.

Felix used to be the matriarch’s right-hand man, the most powerful senior, and the head of the Family’s financial empire. That was until he betrayed her by imprisoning her daughter, Cassandra, for fourteen years.

When Grandmother found out, he was captured. However, he managed to escape and nearly killed us all when he set off a bomb at Grandmother’s estate. There were two bombs—one that Kaden and Celine Langley removed from the mansion. But that asshole Felix always has plan B and plan C in case one small thing goes wrong with plan A. So it didn’t surprise me when another one detonated.

Knowing every escape route, he fled in the ruckus after the explosion, most surely using the underground tunnels.

Hunter comes outside, glancing my way. I push myself off the wall and walk inside the house. I’ve never had a home, but this has come the closest—my friends have been my home.

You would never think a fire made our house unlivable for a while, with everything looking the same as before. The kitchen is on the left side, with a marble island in the middle. To the right is the living room, painted in tones of light gray and decorated with white furniture. A fireplace sits against the left wall. There’s a big, comfortable couch that could accommodate us all, and a hand-crafted wool rug rests in front of it. From the hardwood floors and crystal lights, every piece has a sophisticated touch.

Taking the stairs to the second floor, I pause in the middle of the hallway. Her call is so potent that I have to physically force my legs to walk away.