Page 139 of Consume Me

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In the last three weeks, there haven’t been any more attacks, but that doesn’t mean we’re not constantly on alert. Waiting for something to happen threatens to pop my happy bubble on a daily basis. Sometimes, I wish for them to come at us, to finally know where they are, so we can escape this purgatory.

The guys are getting more and more impatient. They lock themselves in the gym and spar with each other, while the girls and I let them have their outlet.

Celine, Abigail, Bailey, and I are in the living room, sitting around the table while we try to do some coursework, but I am not the only one slacking.

Abigail pushes at her miniature building and says, “Fuck them for conditioning us like that. Even from afar, Felix and Caleb control us.”

“They’re surely planning something. I can’t find anything. There is nothing. Fucking nothing,” Bailey says and slumps back.

“I know just one thing. We’ll be ready when they come. They can’t hide forever,” Celine says.

“Just a bit longer,” I add, which seems to have become our mantra.

“Has he told you yet?” Abi asks.

Blake says, “I love you” every night. The first night when he whispered those three words, I blamed him for fucking me into a near coma that I must have imagined it. But the next night, he did the same. No wonder the after-sex became my favorite part. Not only am I floating, high on my release and the hit of dopamine and endorphins, but his saying he loves me is my magic pill; its effect is even better than my powerful orgasms.

“Not to my face.”

Celine places her hand on mine. “He will when he’s ready”

“What could he have done?” Abi asks, lifting her arms in the air, clearly frustrated.

“You have to see things from his perspective. Blake put you on this pedestal. Perfect, good, and innocent, while he sees himself as the opposite,” Bailey says.

“I just wish he could see me less than that at times.” Maybe then he would finally confide in me and allow me to show him nothing will change on my part.

“I only see one solution. You confront him,” Celine says.

“I don’t want to push him, though.”

“True, I am ecstatic that you’re happy and in love, but I want that just as much for him. He’s never had that look in his eyes before. One moment he looks at you like you’re his damn sun, and he orbits around you, and the next, it’s like a cloud passes over his expression. He deserves to be happy, goddamn it,” Abi says and pours herself a glass of water she drinks in one go.

What I know for sure is he’s teetering on the edge. Every night, he says those three words louder, even tracing the letters on my skin.

Maybe a little nudge will help. These past weeks, my feelings for him have not only grown but deepened. How is it possible? It’s a mystery I don’t plan to unravel, because living through it is better. There’s more than just need and intimacy; it’s stability, familiarity, and companionship.

“I’m going to ask him in bed tonight.”

“Good. And please nudge him to tell us, too. I’m aware I broke my promise to him once, but this time I won’t. I will even help him move the body if he killed someone,” Abi says.

Bailey shrugs. “He’s like my brother. So…”

“Whatever it is, we’ll stand by him,” Celine offers.

Tears glisten in my eyes, seeing how our group loves. We would die for each other; the bond of friendship is indestructible.

Our phones vibrate on the table at the same time, and we go to pick them up.

Tyson is inviting a select group to a themed holiday party.

“We’re going, right?” Celine asks, already replying for us.

“We haven’t talked about that, Sky,” Kaden yells from downstairs.

“Shush, we need to let loose,” she yells back.

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