Page 154 of Consume Me

I pace, feeling like the walls are closing in on me. I miss Mia and want her back with every beat of my battered heart. I miss her euphoric presence and beautiful face. I miss her smile and her chatter. I miss my peace.

I don’t want to lose it in front of my friends, so I go upstairs and into her room. It still preserves her sweet scent. I can see her on her bed, watching me, watching her. Since the very beginning, it was always a losing game. I was too damn drawn to her. While she had the emotional intelligence to accept her feelings, I preferred to ignore them. She was a weakness and in my family that is the worst thing that could happen. But with all the mess I was in, I couldn’t stay away. I would go to her room night after night and just watch her until I gave in. No force on this earth and above could keep me from her.

Sinking onto her side of the bed, I drag her pillow to my nose, inhaling deeply. Wetness gathers in my eyes.

Pull yourself together, but I can’t. She’s my strength, and I can barely keep this strong facade going.

The door creaks open, and Abi comes to my side.

She curls behind me and says, “I’m here. It’s okay. You’re not alone. Let it out. I have you.”

The sobs that tear from my throat are an ugly fit of despair.

“You know what I thought for a long time?” she asks me. I’m aware of what she’s trying to do, but I need to get my head straight, so any distraction will help.

“What?”

“That in our group, we would die for each other, but wouldn’t live for each other.”

“I don’t think any of us had high hopes we would live long.”

“But now you have a reason, don’t you?”

I sniffle, nodding, and she adds, “Remember that reason every time it gets hard because we’re so fucked up that we might forget.”

“I’m happy for you, Abi. I truly am.”

“And I’m happy you let yourself feel. Personally, you couldn’t have chosen a better one.”

“She chose me.”

“No, your souls chose each other.”

***

After three days of no sleep, we finally have two potential locations.

The Syndicate and Cassandra’s team have confirmed one; the other is what Bailey suspects.

We are at the estate, and no one is saying a word. All eyes are on the intel we’ve gathered and what the Syndicate sent us. The Syndicate’s location matches, making it the most obvious choice. But my gut tells me otherwise. I made the mistake of not trusting my instincts one too many times.

“You go to that location. I will go to the other,” I inform the group.

“Blake, be reasonable. It’s the right spot,” Kaden says.

“In theory.”

“I can’t let you go alone. Both of these locations are two hours away from the estate. If we split our manpower, we will be at a disadvantage,” Cassandra says.

“I don’t care.” Knowing my father, he’s playing his mental fucking game with me, making me a mouse in his intricate maze, chasing me around until I go mad.

“We need you there,” Hunter says.

“You have this,” I say, moving to the weapon room.

“Don’t be stubborn. Not now,” Kaden insists while strapping a gun to his side.

“I will be fine. If there’s nothing, I will join you,” I say, getting more ammunition. “Promise me you’ll save her.”

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