“At leastthatI could have respected, even if we’d been poor.”
“Poor!We’d have ended up in a shelter or worse, living on the street.”
“And yet, you’ve somehow managed to keep this roof over your head.Why haven’t you sold this place and moved on to greener pastures?”
“Because that good-for-nothing asshole of a father of yours owned it before we got married and left it to you!”She practically screamed at him now.
It brought back so many memories of the past of her shouting like that at his father.
He stood there, staring at her, completely at a loss for words.He had no idea his father had left him this place.“Why wasn’t I told when he passed?”
She put her hand over her mouth and glared, though he caught a hint of regret that she’d let those words slip.
He glared at her.“You made sure I didn’t find out.Didn’t you?”
“I thought you’d kick me out, sell this place for what it was worth.Then where would I be?I paid off the lawyer fees and taxes on this place, the upkeep.It’s mine.I earned it.What the hell did you ever do, except piss him off and make him come after me?”
Those words slammed into him like a blow.“You blame me for that?Take a look in the mirror.Better yet, maybe you’ll find the answer in the bottom of a bottle.That’s how so many of those fights started.You and him drinking yourself into a stupor only to come up fighting and looking for a target.Me.”
“Boo hoo.You think you had a bad childhood?Who didn’t?My father was just as bad as yours.”
“So instead of picking a better partner, you fell for a man just like Daddy, then instead of protecting your child like you probably wished someone would have protected you, you take out all your anger toward them on me, perpetuating the cycle.Way to go!You became the monster you hated.”
She leaned in with a nasty look in her eyes.“Let’s see how well you do when you have kids.”
“I will never…ever…lay a hand on them in anger.There will be hugs and kisses and affection and laughter.My kids will be happy.”Like Melody was with her family.He’d wanted her family to be his when they were kids.Now they could have that together.“My kids will never know what it’s like to cower and fear me.They will never feel indifference from me.They will know that I would do anything for them.Same goes for Melody.”
“She gets that freely, but not me.”
“She didn’t break my trust.”
“She got you taken away from the only home you’d ever known.”
“And thank god for that because otherwise I’d be dead.”He took a step toward her.“Don’t tell me you don’t know that, because I know you do.You beat me, then you kicked me out into the cold.You kicked me so hard that I was bleeding internally.Another hour in the cold and I’d have been dead.Dead!So fuck you!You’re damn right you don’t get my love and respect and admiration and loyalty the way she does.”
Tanya stood and raised her hands, seeming to catch herself and what the consequences of his fury could mean for her.Because he was ready to walk out the door and never come back.
“Okay, Fox.Calm down.”
That just made him angrier.“I’ll calm down when you finally get it.”
“Oh, I get it.I know just how you feel.”
“If you do, that only makes what you did and this argument worse.It means you wanted me to feel this way to punish me for what happened to you.”
“Maybe that is why I did it.I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to see it.But I do see it now.And I’m sorry.I know that doesn’t take away the pain.It’s just some words.At least that’s how I always felt when my father came at me, begging me to forgive as he blamed the booze, a bad day at work, some slight he thought I’d made.And I hope you are better than me, than him, than your father.But none of that changes the fact that I’m your mother.And all I want is a chance to have something good in my life before it’s over.”
“Always looking out for yourself.”
“No one else ever looked out for me,” she snapped, then her eyes softened again.“If she does that for you, well then…”
Yeah.No kind words for Melody.Just a partial acknowledgement that she did something good for him.
Probably the best he’d ever get.Crumbs when I want a whole fucking apology sandwich with a side of remorse and understanding.
How about a little support from her?What about…If she makes you happy, then I’m happy for you?Nope.
Everything was about Tanya.So he’d give her what she wanted and be done with it.“I’ll put the house up for sale while you’re on your trip.When you get back, you can use the money to stay in an assisted living place or hospice depending on your needs.”