Page 33 of Festive

Six hesitates, his eyes searching mine, and then, finally, he nods. He takes my hand, his grip shaky but strong, and together, we turn away from the chaos he created, leaving the mess behind us.

The hallway is silent now, the tension dissipating as the brothers begin to disperse. But the silence between Six and me is heavy, filled with everything that still needs to be said. We walk back to our room, our hands still linked, and I feel the weight of what just happened settle over us like a thick fog.

Once inside, I close the door behind us, and Six collapses onto the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

I watch him, my heart aching, and then I move to sit beside him, my hand resting gently on his back. “Koda…” I whisper, my voice breaking. “What are we doing?”

He looks up at me, his eyes red, his face etched with pain. “I d-don’t know, Thay,” he replies, his voice cracking. “I don’t fucking k-know anymore. I’m trying… I’m trying so damn hard, but it’s like everything I do just makes it worse.”

I swallow hard, my eyes welling with tears as I reach up, gently stroking his already bruising cheek. “I know you’re trying. I see it. But you have to understand… I’m scared. I’m scared for our girls, for our family. I need to know that you’re putting us first, aboveeverythingelse. I need to know that we matter more than the club… more thananything.”

He reaches out, his hand cupping my cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear. “You do matter, Thay. You and the girls… you’re my everything. I know I’ve fucked up, and I know I haven’t always shown it, but I love you. I love you more than anything.I just… I don’t know how to do this without losing myself. Clearly, the thought of losing you sent me crazy just now, crazy enough to start beating up my own brother when he asked me what was going on.”

I lean into his touch, closing my eyes as the tears spill over. “Then we need to figure it out.Together. And we will… but right now, I need you to give me that space. I need to be somewhere I feel safe, where the girls are safe. I can’t keep doing this, Koda. I can’t keep watching you destroy yourself. I need you, Koda. I need you whole. But I can’t do that here… not right now.”

He stares at me, the realization sinking in. “You’rereallyleaving?”

I nod, the decision solidifying in my heart. “I have to. I need time to think, to breathe. I need to be with my family in Phoenix. I need to take care of our girls, andIneedyouto take care of yourself.”

He nods slowly, his tears falling freely now. “I’ll try, Thay. I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you girls back to me. I fucking promise you.”

Weakly smiling, I pull him into an embrace. His arms tighten around me so fucking tight, like he never wants to let me go…

But he has to.

We need this.

I need this.

“I better finish packing,” I murmur against his ear.

He pulls back, sniffing as he goes, rubbing at his chin. “I’ll ahh… leave you to it.” His eyes well, but he is trying to hold back his emotions as he stands, though the sight of him trying to fight it hurts even more somehow.

He heads for the door, then turns back to face me again. “I’ll wait for you by the bar. If you need me…” His words trail off, though he doesn’t have to say it.

Nodding, I weakly smile at him. “I’ll come get you.”

He swallows hard, hesitates for a moment longer than necessary, then exhales heavily, walking out the door and closing it loudly as he leaves.

Slumping my shoulders, I close my eyes, holding on tighter to one of Kenna’s shirts for comfort. “You’re going to be okay. It’s all going to be okay,” I whisper to myself.

Even though there’s no way in hell I believe it.

CHAPTER NINE

SIX

Everyone is leaving me alone right now, sitting at the bar drinking, when I spot Rebel walking out with her suitcases.

A wave of emotions roll through me.

Resentment.

Anger.

But most of all, complete helplessness.

I could, of course, forbid her to leave. Demand she stay, but that would stress her out, and I have to look after her and the baby right now. If her needing to go home and see her Phoenix family is what she needs, then I would be an asshole to stop her for my own selfish needs.

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