Page 95 of Not in My Book

Maria pulled her lipstick out of her purse, reapplying slowly in the mirror. Her gaze flickered to me. “They are a little right about Aiden.”

Iknew that. But they didn’t know that Aiden didn’t do romance. Even if Aidendidhave feelings for me, it didn’t mean he was looking for a relationship.

“How so?”

“Aiden looks at you like he wishes you’re really together … he was hanging on your every word. When we opened gifts, I felt so horrible that we only had one thing to give him, and it wasn’t even a good gift. But he looked genuinely happy to see you happy.”

“Aiden and I are friends,” I said more to myself. That’s what we had decided, even if I wanted more.

“Peter and I were friends,” she sang. She set her lipstick down and turned to face me. When we were little, people used to think we were twins. We had the same dark eyes and hair, though hers had soft waves and mine was a mess of curls, and Maria was slightly taller. But otherwise we looked nearly identical. “I have to tell you something.”

“Is everything okay with you and Peter?” I straightened, concerned.

She glanced away from me, nervously. Guilt washed over me. I wasn’t being a good big sister, calling her and checking up on her. I’d been so focused on my life, I didn’t know much about hers.

“Of course.” She waved me off. “But you can’t tell Mom and Dad.”

My brows furrowed. “I won’t.”

A beat passed before she said, “I’m pregnant.”

My gasp echoed in the bathroom, and I clutched her hands. “Maria, oh my God!”

Her eyes were wide as she squeezed my hand tightly. Her voice was strained as she said, “I’ve only known a month. I can’t stop freaking out. It’s why I wanted you to come home so badly for the holidays and when you couldn’t, I practically begged Mom and Dad to take a trip to New York to see you.”

“Why are you freaking out?” I asked softly. “This is great news. Thebestnews. What is Peter thinking?”

Tears were brimming her eyes. “Peter sobbed for like an hour when I told him. He ordered a bunch of parenting books online and has already decided that they’re twins, for some reason.”

I laughed. “That sounds like Peter.”

“But Rosie … I’m tooyoung.”Her voice cracked and she blinked rapidly. “I’m only twenty-five! I can’t be amother.”

“Yes, you can,” I said softly. “You’ll be great.”

“No,Peterwill be great. He’s Mr. Domesticity. Whenever I grocery shop, we’re eating like shit for a week. And I somehow always mess up the laundry—”

“That’s not what makes a good mother,” I interrupted her. “Your baby is going to grow up so loved and with an amazing support system. They’ll have us and all the tías and all of Peter’s family, too.”

She wiped the tears under her eyes. “I’m just scared.”

“Everyone’s scared of growing up and moving on.” I handed her a paper towel and rubbed her arms soothingly as she wiped tears away.

“You aren’t.”

I snorted. “I’mterrified.I walk out on the street, and I’m scared half to death that I’ll fall in a pothole or something. And all this stuff with Aiden …”

She nodded for a moment, quiet. “You shouldn’t be scared about Aiden, though.”

“Maria …”

“No, I’m serious. I know Simon hurt you and left you bruised and bent, but he didn’t break you.”

“I don’t know if I can survive getting hurt that bad again.”

I used to think that, anyway. That I wouldn’t ever be able to fall in love, and I’d be stuck in a pit, always trying to climb out of it. But with Aiden … it didn’t feel so scary. I wasn’t there yet, but maybe, with him, I could open myself up again.

She pulled me into a tight hug and whispered, “Love wouldn’t seem worth it without the risk of losing it.”

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