Page 81 of Not in My Book

Aiden burst out laughing, his eyes squeezing shut. It was the infectious type of laugh that bubbled at the bottom of your throat. Soon enough, I joined in.

“I needed that,” Aiden said, wiping his eyes. As we sipped our drinks, we exchanged more embarrassing stories from our childhood. I was sworn to complete secrecy about the time he laughed so hard milk came out of his nose and it landed on his crush in third grade.

Later, as we slurped up the last bit of Frrrozen Hot Chocolate, Aiden said hesitantly, “I didn’t know you were so serious about the fellowship.”

“I’m a little embarrassed that I had no idea it existed even though it’s such a big deal. But when I mentioned it to Ida she really encouraged me.” I shrugged, pushing the mug away from me. Even though my diet consisted of mainly sugar, I had a hard time drinking all of the hot chocolate in one sitting like Aiden. “Obviously it would provide so many important opportunities for me, and it’d help with my writing career in the future … but getting that tuition money would be life changing. I’m already drowning in student loans; if I got this I wouldn’t have to drag out my MFA for years. Maybe I could go home more, too.”

Aiden stiffened, his gaze not quite meeting mine. I knew money talk could throw people off, especially for people like Aiden who had so much of it.

“I guess I also want to prove that Ican,” I said.“That the romance I write is good enough for people to forget their bias with genre lines, you know?”

Aiden nodded. “I get that. I can’t wait to read it—but I can’t promise that just because we’re friends, I’ll be nice.”

“That’s kind of why I want you to look over it.” I said honestly, smiling sheepishly. “Don’t get me wrong, yousuckin workshop. You’re mean. Likereallymean.”

“I get it,” Aiden said flatly.

“But you’rehonest.It’s rare when you compliment someone and when you do it feels good.” I blushed. “With your feedback, I’ll know if I’m in over my head with the submission.”

“I’m sure it’s great,” Aiden said confidently. “You’re an amazing writer, Rosie.”

My heart glowed in my chest. I never wanted this day to end, but the restaurant was closing up soon. Aiden so graciously paid the check and we ambled out into the street.

“I can barely walk, I’m so full,” I groaned.

“Just wait till you get their Blackout Sundae. They put a full piece of cake on top of a giant ice cream sundae.”

I turned around to study the restaurant. “You think they have one they could give us to go?”

Aiden laughed and grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the subway. “C’mon. Let’s get you home.”

We made our way to the station together, but I dreaded the moment we passed through those turnstiles. Then the most perfectChristmas of my entire life would come to an end, and I’d go home to my lonely apartment.

We were shoulder to shoulder as we went down the stairs to the station. It wasn’t as crowded as usual. Everyone was most likely back home with their families, preparing their turkeys and presents.

The way the station was divided, the N, R, and W trains—which I assumed Aiden would be taking—were on the platform immediately following the turnstiles, but I had to go down another set of stairs to get to the 6.

I stopped and turned to him. “Thank you for today. I had the most fun I’ve had in a really long time.”

He smiled softly. “Me too, Rosie.”

An N train came whirring into the station and my gut clenched. “Well, I don’t want you to miss your train so …”

He tilted his head in confusion. “I figured we’d take the 6? The Astor Place stop isn’t too far from you, right?”

“Right,” I said slowly. “But I don’t want to make you go all the way to East Village when you’re on the other side of town.”

He rolled his eyes and gently grabbed my elbow, leading me toward the platform. “You’re ridiculous. Of course I’m going to get you home. C’mon, I think I hear a train approaching.”

I wasn’t used to this Aiden that I had spent the day with. The one who considered my feelings and safety before his convenience. I’dhopedhe would take the train with me just so we could prolong our time together, but I thought I was just living in my own world again. That I was making Aiden into someone he wasn’t.

When the train arrived, we got on a semicrowded car. Aiden and I stood, facing each other, holding onto one of the bars toward the center of the car. It jostled us slightly, him stepping forward so he wouldn’t lose his balance. His chest was nearly pressed to mine. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from his green eyes. I wished with all my might for this to be real. For Aiden’s hand to slide around my waist, his hand moving the few inches on the bar to grasp mine.

At every stop, either of us could’ve stepped away, but as if by silent agreement, as if we craved this closeness with each other, we didn’t.

Soon enough, the jostling stopped, feeling more like swaying. If I really wanted to be delusional I could pretend that Aiden and I were dancing on this subway together.

“Rosie,” Aiden whispered at one of the stops, his voice thick. “I—”

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